It's easy to get in "It's A Wonderful Life" mode during the holiday season. It's easy to start expecting things in our life to actually be better than they really are. We can all fall into this trap, but it is a trap so you don't want to let your expectations on Christmas for your partner to get out of hand and actually makes things worse.
If you have unrealistic expectations on Christmas for your partner you are just guaranteeing that you will be disappointed and you will probably make yourself and your partner miserable.
Instead of forcing it and trying to make your relationship what you want it to be, why not take this time to figure out what your relationship is? If your partner isn't the type of person who likes to dress up or go to a lot of parties, why do you dream of doing just that?
They will resent you and you will end up being disappointed. If your partner isn't the romantic type and they don't do things spontaneously, why would you expect some grand romantic spontaneous gesture at this time of year? Again, you are just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Instead, don't expect your relationship to change just because it is the holiday season. I'm sorry to tell you this but if you want things different and you don't want disappointments during the holiday than don't set yourself up for disappointment by expecting your partner to suddenly turn into someone different than who they really are.
Another thing that is easy to do, and many of us are guilty of it, is that we have unrealistic expectations about our holiday season in general, not just in relation to your partner. We expect everything to be romantic and perfect, and that is just not realistic and we are only setting ourselves up for disappointment.
You have to remind yourself that things don't need to be perfect to be great. Just roll with everything that happens and keep your sense of humor. You can have a fantastic holiday season, even though it won't be perfect, it can still be perfect for you and your partner.
Why not plan activities that you both enjoy? Even if they aren't "holiday" events, why not just try to do things and go places where you will both have fun and have fun together?
There are no "holiday police", Martha Stewart isn't going to come knocking on your door if you choose not to decorate for Christmas or if you prefer to have a pizza for Christmas dinner rather than a ham.
Do what the two of you will find enjoyable and don't force yourselves to do what you are "supposed" to do but rather what each of you likes to do. That will make for a much more enjoyable holiday season. There is no right or wrong, only what is right for you two.
So, if you don't want to deal with unrealistic expectations on Christmas for your partner than don't. Just keep yourself grounded and don't expect either of you to change for a few weeks out of the year.