If you have been unfaithful you may now be wondering if you can save a relationship after infidelity. It is possible to save a relationship after one partner has been unfaithful but it will require hard work. Both couples must be willing to work toward improving and saving the relationship. The partner who has been unfaithful needs to explain their reasons and why they are unhappy within the relationship and the partner who has been cheated on will need to find a way to forgive.
If you decide to go to counseling, one of the first questions you will be asked is whether you really feel that your relationship is worth saving. Although you have both agreed to seek counseling so assume that you both feel the relationship is worth the effort, but it is possible that one person may be agreeing to counseling just to please the other.
Quite often it is the partner who has had the affair that only agrees to go to counseling to please their partner. They agree to counseling because they are feeling guilty and feel that they owe it to their partner to do whatever it takes to save this relationship.
There are a lot of couples that find themselves in couple counseling faced with this situation – that the cheating partner is only there to please the other partner but in reality they aren't really sure that the relationship is worth saving. So it is important that both partners take a good look at the situation and be honest about whether they do want to work hard at saving the relationship.
One of the hardest things a couple will ever have to do is to heal a relationship that has broken as a result of infidelity. It is not a matter of saying you are sorry and that you'll never do it again; there is must more to it than that.
Firstly, the reason for the affair, or affairs, need to be given. Affairs may happen purely for sexual reasons and sometimes they may happen because a person is unhappy in their current relationship. You need to decide what the reason was for the infidelity so you can take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again.
If you can identify the reason then you have a much greater chance of healing a relationship after infidelity than if you can't. If you had an affair for sexual reasons then perhaps you need to work on your sex life as a couple. If you and your partner are not satisfying one another sexually then there are things that you can do to improve your sexual relations. It is better to work at improving your sex life with your partner than to go and just find a new partner to have an affair with.
If you are generally unhappy in the relationship then this needs to be addressed. There are many reasons why one can become unhappy in a relationship and it may depend on the reason as to whether you can resolve the issue or not. You need to discuss with your partner why you are unhappy so you can both work toward making things better. The only way to find happiness again is to have open communication and let each other know how you are feeling.
It can be helpful to talk about these things with a counselor so they can help you work through your feelings and problems together. They can also help to keep the conversation going and to stop a conversation if it is turning into one big argument. A counselor can help you to understand what the other person is saying and feeling.
It is difficult to fix a relationship after infidelity but it is possible. If your relationship is worth saving then you need to put in the effort to save it.