Women who pay for everything on dates probably have a lot of different dates with a lot of different men because she is scaring them off. If a woman pays for a date, especially the first date then the man essentially thinks that she is giving him the brush off and only wants to be friends. This could be the furthest from the truth but that is how she is making the man feel by paying for the date.
Even if you are successful, let the man have his pride and let him pay for the first date. Do not even ask to go dutch because that will send the same "I just wanna be friends" message. He is trying to woo you and probably, hopefully, has a plan and thoughts on how this should go. He wants to show you that he is independent of his mother and can support you. OK, OK, this is mostly BS but let him have his fun. No need to tear down his ego just yet, that will come in time if the relationship lasts.
Besides, letting him pay can show you what kind of a man he really is. Pay attention, does he steer you toward the least expensive entrees on the menu? Do you get the idea that he expects something in return for paying for the meal? Do you get the feeling he is only spending money to try to impress you?
Seems to me if he were stupid enough to try any of these things, especially on a first date then he doesn't think much of you and you should steer clear of him in the future. This type of guy could be trouble and you do not need any drama in your life so just finish the date and do not accept another one.
Women who pay for everything on dates may have their own issues, as well. Control issues for one and possibly fear of commitment issues for two. Are you the type of woman who has convinced herself that she does not need anyone in her life? If you are then you are missing out on a lot of fun. Everyone needs someone and you are no exception. Fiercely independent women are most likely very lonely women. Find a good balance between your independence and your need for others around you. You will probably be a much happier person.
A better way to handle the first date situation would be to let him pay and keep his ego intact then smile your sweetest smile and tell him you had a great time. Then put the offer out there that you will pay for the next date. If he is as progressive and enlightened as he thinks he is he should not have a problem with alternating the paying for dates with you. This way you will not be considered one of those women who pay for everything on dates.
