Wow, rebound relationships. I can't think of many other situations that can do so much damage but feel so good. Nothing feels better than starting to feel alive again after a failed relationship. But, the problem is that often these new found feelings aren't that "real".
Most of us have been in rebound relationships at some point in our lives. Whether it was us who was doing the rebounding or our partner, we know that these types of relationships can be really tricky and wrought with pitfalls.
You see, the problem comes when the person who is just getting out of a relationship really hasn't moved on from their previous relationship. Oh sure, they may think they have moved on but in many cases they still have unresolved feelings about their ex and / or about the end of the relationship.
They think they are ready to love again, and it can sure feel great to feel that connection with another person again after a painful breakup, but in many cases they really aren't "whole" yet and not in a place where they can give someone else all of themselves.
That can cause a lot of extra heart ache for the "reboundee". If you get involved with someone who isn't fully over their old relationship you may find yourself on the outside looking in. So, how can you protect yourself from this situation?
Truthfully, you may not be able to. Since most of the time the person who is rebounding probably isn't even fully aware of it, it will be tough for you to pick up on the signs.
But, here are a few things that may indicate that your new love isn't totally ready to move on from their old love:
1. Sometimes, not always though, a sure sign that you are in a rebound is when your partners last relationship just ended. If it was a long term relationship and it has only been a few months it's improbable that they have totally dealt with all aspects of the break up enough to totally commit to you. Give them more time and take things slowly.
2. An overly "physical" relationship may be a sign that your new partner is only looking for some fun rather than a serious commitment. Watch yourself if they only seem to want to have sex but don't seem very interested in doing other things with you that would allow the two of you to form more of a bond.
3. Does your partner seem to enjoy being with you? Do they talk about the future with you (this doesn't mean marriage and babies but the concert next week the two of you are going to, etc.)? If you pay attention you can see the signs. Do they treat you like a lover or do they treat you more like a friend?
4. Does your partner talk about their ex a lot? If so, it is a sure sign that they are still thinking a lot about them. That isn't a sign that someone has moved on and is ready to date again. And don't think that because they say nasty things about their ex that that is ok, it's not. They are still thinking about them a lot.
Most of these things on their own don't necessarily mean a lot (except possibly for number 4) but taken as a whole it would sure seem to indicate that your new love isn't totally over their ex. Rebound relationships are usually not all that hard to spot; as long as you keep your eyes open.