There is much conjecture, usually among women, as to why some (not all) men seem so reluctant to apologize. Is it true that men that never apologize view apologies as a sign of weakness?
It's an age old dilemma, and it is not much of a secret, men and women simply do not fully understand the way we each think and act.
But, the real question is this: do men and women act the way they do because of some pre -wiring and physiology? Or is it more because of the programming we get from the society we live in?
I'm not an expert but my money is on a combination of both. We know that men can be capable of great love and sensitivity, yet for many men, they rarely show it. Why?
I suspect that to a large degree it will go back to a few main characteristics of the particular man in question:
1. How was he raised? What were his parents like? You can almost always bet that a man who had a more sensitive and nurturing father and mother will be more sensitive and nurturing too.
If he was raised by a strong man (I don't mean a pompous macho man who is overcompensating for some perceived short coming) who is not afraid to open up with his emotions, he will likely be more like that.
2. Is your guy secure in himself? If he is, he will likely be more willing to apologize. There are many who think that apologizing is a sign of weakness, but that doesn't make any sense at all.
Since when is it "weak" to do the right thing even when it is difficult to do? We teach our kids that they should do the right thing no matter how hard it is.
If our kids know it, grown men should know it too.
It isn't a sign of weakness to apologize, that is just an excuse.
3. Some guys are so embarrassed by their mistake they basically want to pretend it never happened.
I read an article that said that since men tend to be more visual than women they won't apologize until they see your pain.
In other words, unless you break down he won't realize he has hurt you and he won't apologize.
With all due respect, bull. I don't believe that. I believe men are much deeper than some primitive neanderthal.
I believe men are perfectly smart enough to figure out when they have caused another person pain without having to "see" the results.
So, I guess I'm saying, that I believe most men are perfectly capable of recognizing their mistakes and offering a sincere apology to someone they have hurt.
Men that never apologize are most likely just afraid. Afraid to admit to you or anyone else that they were wrong. Afraid because they don't know if they can make it right and really just want it to all go away. That is kind of weak, wouldn't you say?
