The first stage to divorce is separation. Sometimes it is a legal separation where the paperwork is filed and lawyers get involved, other times it is more informal and one of you chooses to move out of the home. In either case, dating while separated can pose a lot of difficulties down the road.
By the time a couple decides to officially end their marriage they have probably gone through a lot. They are most likely ready and anxious to move on with the next phase of their life. They may have even already met someone who they are interested in.
The problem is that according to the law you are still legally married. Depending on the state you live in and it's rules this could present problems for you later in your divorce.
These problems may be compounded if there are any prenuptial agreements in place. Now, just to be clear, I am not an attorney and I am not providing legal advice just some things to think about.
Also, the laws regarding dating while separated can vary dramatically from one state to the next so it is important for you to know what your rights and responsibilities are in that regard.
Your spouse may be able to use your dating against you at later stages in your divorce. This could potentially effect your alimony or settlement. In most cases it will be more about you having sex outside of the marriage rather than just dating.
Though, it will be virtually impossible for you to prove you didn't have sex with someone else if you are out dating.
At the end of the day you need to talk to your lawyer to find out what, if any, pitfalls you may face if you decide to start dating before your divorce is final. In most cases you may just have to wait.
If that is what your lawyer advises you, that you have to wait, you would probably wise to not let your soon to be ex know that you are eager to start dating.
It wouldn't be the first time a spouse deliberately held up a divorce just to stop their partner from starting to date again. Keep that information to yourself (which is yet another reason to not start dating until the marriage is officially over. It's one less thing you can give your spouse to use against you).
One other very important thing to consider about starting to date again is your kids, if you have them. Having kids and starting to date can really be challenging. For one thing, there is always the concern that your kids will get attached to this new person in your life.
That may sound wonderful but if the two of you don't work out it can be yet another loss for your child.
Also, if you are dating while still married, be very careful about overnight guests. Not only can dating at this stage present problems for you later in your divorce, if you have someone spend the night your ex can really make a case that you are an unfit parent and go for sole custody.
Dating while separated is really not a very good idea. If you just can't wait any longer at least talk to your attorney and make sure you are protected as much as possible.
