Have you just gone through a break up recently, and you still have a lot of deep, dark, negative feelings? Perhaps your feelings go from one extreme to the other; one moment you love them more than anything, and the next moment you're glad you broke up and hope you never see them again. If so, then you should know that you are not alone. A lot of people have experienced the exact same thing.
Now, a break up isn't the same thing as having somebody close to you die, but there are some similarities; especially in the emotions you face after it happens. This makes more sense when you consider a break up as losing somebody you love. However, your former partner is still alive, and that has led some people who have experienced both things to say a break up is harder to get over than the death of a spouse. I don't know if I would make a statement as bold as that, but it'[s obvious that some people do feel that way.
Regardless of which is worse, there are things that you can do to make things better. You can start by writing a lengthy letter to your ex. Don't hold back. Tell them everything: how you feel, what you think of them, call them every name in the book, vent your anger and frustration…anything goes! Don't worry about what you write because nobody will ever read it. That's because the next step is to take the finished letter and burn it. This has a lot of symbolism and will allow you to express some of the more difficult emotions without having to worry about them.
The next step is to tie up any lose ends (there may be a lot of them). Get rid of those things that remind of your ex, or at least store them out of site for a while. The fewer reminders you have, the better. Now, if you plan on getting your ex back, that's okay, this step can be temporary. Also, if there are any bills the two of you are splitting, then pay your share, or get that straightened out as soon as you can. Any other loose ends need to be worked out.
Once that's done, you need to break off all contact with your ex for two to four weeks. That's why it's so important to do the previous steps. If you don't get rid of the emotional baggage, or tie up the loose ends, then you will make excuses to get in touch with your ex…but you have to wait! You both need some time and space to come to terms with the break up, and that can't happen if you are pestering each other.
These steps will work for you whether you want to get your ex back or just move on with your life. However, they are only the beginning. It's a good idea to learn more, as there are tons of tricks you can use to help you get over a break up.
