If your relationship is going through a rough patch and it is one of many rough patches you may be concerned that you are heading for divorce. Sometimes divorce can't be avoided, it will depend on the couple and the situation, but there are many times that you can work toward healing your relationship before it reaches the point for divorce.
One mistake many people make is that they start making promises. They start saying things like 'that will never happen again', 'I will fix everything' or 'I have changed'. These are just empty promises and actually make the person sound a little desperate and a bit insincere. Even if you believe you are sincere and that you can change, statements like these will not save your relationship.
Actions speak louder than words. It would benefit you more to start showing the changes you are willing to make instead of promising to make them. Don't just say that you have changed but actually take steps to change. You do need to discuss the problems with your partner though because you can't just change who you are to make them happy, you need to be happy too. Often there are problems that both parties need to work with to improve the relationship.
Telling your partner that you love him constantly is not a good idea either. Even if it is true and you do love him, saying it constantly won't fix any problems. In fact telling him that you love him can be seen as a bit of emotional blackmail – when all else fails say 'I love you' – it doesn't quite work like that. It isn't the miracle cure for a failing marriage.
When a relationship is in trouble it can be stressful and you may find yourself an emotional wreck. This is another reason why you shouldn't keep telling him that you love him because it will just drain him more emotionally. Telling him that you love him is something you should save for when you have your relationship back on track.
Another big mistake when a relationship is in trouble is to constantly argue. When you yell and scream at each other and only worry about getting your point across and not listen to what the other person is saying, then this doesn't get you anywhere. All it does is add more tension to the relationship and nobody wins these arguments. If you continually point out your partners faults to him and constantly tell him he is wrong, he will not want to try very hard to resolve any issues. However, if you calmly discuss the issues and let him know that you care about his feelings too then he will be more willing to work on saving your marriage.
Do not start any arguments with your husband and if he starts one then walk away. When he has calmed down then ask him if he'd like to discuss matters. Don't approach the marriage like a competition to find who is best at relationships and who is to blame for it failing, approach it like a partnership that you both need to help each other with.
If your marriage is heading for divorce then sit down with your husband and calmly talk about any problems you have. Don't argue with him but ask him what he is feeling and how he thinks you can improve the marriage. Take his answers into consideration along with your own feelings and try to work some compromise that will make you both happy. You can prevent a divorce if you handle the problem in a mature and calm way.
