There is a lot of advice about how to mend a broken heart. Some of it is better than others. In this article I'm going to give you some ideas of things you can do. None of these things will make it all go away, though some of them may help speed up the healing process a little bit.
But, at the end of the day, you will have to reconcile yourself to the fact that you will feel pain. I'm sorry but that is the truth. But never lose sight of this one important fact: it really will get better.
I know that when you are in the midst of so much pain it is very easy to fall into a depression and find it impossible to believe things will ever get better. But when you are at that point you just have to fake it 'til you make it.
Even if you aren't really convinced you will ever be happy again, keep telling yourself that you will be. If you do, you will eventually find that you are slowly starting to feel better.
Here are some other things you can do to help you get over your lost relationship and mend a broken heart:
1. Allow yourself what I call "wallowing time". This is the time when you give yourself permission to fall apart. It's ok as long as the things you do aren't self destructive.
Give yourself permission to over eat for a few days, allow yourself a day off of work, spend most of your free time in your home in your pajamas. All of this is ok as long as you don't take it too far.
In general, give yourself a week or so of wallowing time.
2. Once your wallowing time is over (that's not to say that the grieving period is over) you must move on to the next stage which is getting back into the world. Now let's be clear, I'm not talking about dating or necessarily even hanging out with friends.
I'm just talking about going back to work, not existing solely on ice cream and maybe taking a shower. Simple stuff.
Slowly ease back into a more normal existence.
3. After a few weeks of just living you are probably feeling slightly stronger. A this point you might want to consider spending a little time with friends or family. Nothing fancy, just get out of the house and out of your own head for a while.
This may also be a good time to make some changes in your life. Why not take a class, get a new hairstyle or new glasses, take up a hobby? A great way to start a new phase in your life.
4. After several weeks or months you should be starting to feel better and stronger. You still may not be even close to 100% but you are probably getting a little stronger every day. At this point you may even want to do even more social activities though you probably shouldn't start dating just yet.
5. Next, you are whole again. It may seem to happen suddenly but one day you will wake up and you will be happy. Thoughts of your ex, if you have them at all, will be ok to deal with.
You may still feel a little sadness that the relationship didn't last but you aren't devastated any more. This is the time you may want to consider to start dating again.
The process to mend a broken heart is pretty much the same for everyone. These tips should help. If you don't seem to be bouncing back at all you may want to talk to someone to get help moving on.
