Nothing is more tricky in the dating world than dating your best friends ex husband. This is something that you must give serious thought to before you decide it is a good idea.
Many times we ignore everything around us and don't consider the hurt we may cause when we meet someone we think we can't live without. But, it is important for you to balance and carefully consider several points before you choose to go down this road.
If you choose this course you will likely lose a friend. Now, in the beginning of your relationship that may seem acceptable, but it is important that you are realistic.
Most relationships start off with fireworks and stars but they often end up with explosions and black holes. Make sure that it is worth losing a good friend over.
Here are some other things to think about before you start dating your best friends ex husband:
1. The end of a relationship is painful. Carefully consider how much pain your friend was in during the process as well as how much pain they are in now. When I got divorced many years ago people would tell me how sorry they were.
While I appreciated their sentiments I kind of felt like a hypocrite since the marriage had actually been over for a long time and should have ended much sooner.
Sure, I still felt a little sadness but I wasn't devastated… not even close. So try to figure out what damage, if any, you dating your friends ex would cause your friend.
If all else fails ask them what they think. Though don't be surprised if they give you their blessing and resent you later. There are a lot of swirling emotions at play and it can be confusing for your friend to know how they will really feel until they are actually in that situation.
2. Also, make sure you are 100% honest with yourself about why you want to date the ex of your friend. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we love someone but in reality is more about feeling comfortable.
If you are single and lonely and you find yourself suddenly interested in the ex of a friend, it's very possible that that is nothing more than desperation on your part.
It's not uncommon for us to lie to ourselves and convince ourselves of things we don't want to admit. Make sure you are honest about why this one person out of millions suddenly seems like such a good catch.
3. Along with point 2, you must also stop and remember the way this person acted to your friend while they were together. If they treated your friend badly what makes you think they will be any better with you?
I had a friend who started dating a married man. This guy was already cheating on his wife with another woman when he met my friend. My friend never admitted it but I think she convinced herself that he loved her more than his wife or the other other woman.
Personally, dating someone who is already cheating sounds like a bad idea all the way around to me. If someone mistreats others, in this case his wife and his mistress, it's unlikely they are going to love you so much more that they will suddenly change the person they are.
