I Lost Love-Can Be Pain Of The Past

I am not really sure that there is anything worse than when I lost love. It can be devastating to know you are the one who sabotaged the whole thing right from the get go. The only one who can learn to be a better partner in a relationship is you. No one can do it for you, but there is help out there that may make things a little easier. The biggest thing you need is the want to.

This may sound like the opposite of a cliche, but it is true, it's you and not them. The fact of the matter is that many people end a relationship too quickly and then later regret it. You may very well one day realize that walking out on the last person was the biggest mistake of your life. They might very well be the one that got away, and you might always regret it.

Do not make the mistake of assuming that they left because they didn't love you, it could have been that you didn't realize you truly loved them or even that you were afraid of the love you felt for them. Maybe you mistreated them in some way that they could not abide. I know this does little to ease your hurt but at least your pride can be a little less injured with this knowledge. Maybe you can start to understand why you do the things you do that make you say I lost love again.

Sometimes it is just not the right time. Sometimes you meet someone and one or the other of you is on the rebound or just not looking for love. Neither of you may realize it right away and when one of you does figure it out it can leave the other person feeling blindsided.

Sometimes we sabotage ourselves. We ignore obvious signs that the other person just isn't that into us. We pretend they are interested when we know in our heart that they are not. Make sure you are completely honest with yourself about the situation.

You also need to make sure that you are not sabotaging your relationships in other ways. Many people who don't feel good about themselves have a hard time believing that they are worthy of love. If they feel that way, they often push love away without even realizing it. Make sure that is not what you are doing. If it is though, you will eventually want to fix it. Everyone needs love, including you.

Try to honestly figure out what it is that you are doing that is causing you to push love away when you have it. You may be surprised to find that love really is within your grasp you just have to learn to let it happen in it's own time and not try to force it or just let it keep happening and stop trying to push it away.

If any one of these scenarios is the reason you left them it is possible that someday the two of you will come back together. But, do not wait for that day to come. Instead live your life and trust that if it was meant to be, it will be. That is the single hardest thing to do, but it is good advice.

This advice on love may help you sort things out and find the solution to your relationship issues. It is not always easy to face up to your flaws and make changes, but it can be done. Don't give up, realize that you are someone who is worthy of love and follow your heart. You will find I lost love is a thing of the past.


 

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How To Get Over Someone You Love And Move On With Your Life

Are you wondering how to get over someone you love? Are you at the point where you're starting to believe that you will feel this heartache forever? Well the heartache will probably not disappear overnight, but equally, it won't last forever.

Here are some tips to help you move on.

1) Still in contact with your ex? Then the the truth is, to understand how to get over someone you love starts by you breaking all contact with them. There is no point in still talking to your ex on the phone or seeing them socially if you're trying to get over them and you're still in love with them. All you're doing is making the pain you're in last longer and go deep. So break contact.

2) Get out and about and meet new people. The last thing that you want to do is to spend your days and nights sitting home alone, brooding and thinking about your ex. If you're out and about with friends then you can distract yourself and occupy your mind with other things. Yes you probably still have to go home alone, but it means you're not spending hours on your own when you're at your most vulnerable.

3) Be good to yourself. No doubt mistakes were made by both you and your ex, so don't spend your time blaming yourself for what you did wrong. That's not to say you shouldn't accept responsibility for your own mistakes, but learn from what has happened and take what you have learnt into the future.

Understanding how to get over someone you love depends on you coming to terms with where your life now is. If you're not happy with yourself, then you will have a hard time leaving your past relationship behind you.

Think about the direction you want your life to go in. Are you headed the right way or are you stuck or moving in the exact opposite direction?

Do you need to make a different career choice to fulfill your goals? Is there more studying to be done? Perhaps you need a different group of friends to socialize with? Maybe dropping some pounds and getting fit is what you need? Whatever new path you need to take to move you forward in life, then you need to do it because a move like this is often the answer to the question "how to get over someone you love!"

What's also worth remembering and will help you, is to accept that just because you love someone, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to be with them. If that person is not right for you then moving on, for yourself, is the best thing you can do.


 

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How To Get Over A Breakup-Breaking up is hard to do

If your relationship has hit the skids, help is out there to show you how to get over a breakup. There are some specific do's and don'ts you should be aware of. Let's start with some dont's. Don't ever break up with someone over the phone, by texting, or by email unless they might get violent then break up with them any way you can. If they aren't violent then break up with them in person. Don't humiliate them by breaking up in public find a private place to let them down gently. The break upee may not like what you are doing but they will have more respect for you.

Being honest with your soon to be ex is very important, but if the reason you need to know how to get over a breakup is that you have met a new someone special, keep it under wraps. If they ask, Don't tell them, even if they ask. They will be hurt enough as it is, they don't need that piled on top of everything else. There really is no point.

Begin your new relationship as the fresh start it should be. Go make your new memories together in all new places, special to just the two of you, don't go to the places that will remind you of your ex. Even though you are the one who did the breaking up if your new love asks you if you have been there before you do not have to lie or make them feel bad because they weren't there with you first.

On the side of the do's you should plan out what you want to say before meeting your soon to be ex because you will feel nervous when the breaking up starts. Stand firm and don't waver. When the time comes to actually do the breakup look them in the eye and tell it to them straight. They will be hurt anyway so state your case with confidence. The relationship may be at an end but do not humiliate yourself or your ex by treating this as a trivial matter.

After you break up, your ex may try to contact you, this is normal because they are hurt but do not take their calls. This will erringly keep hope alive. This is an unkind thing to do. Never make promises you do not intend to keep. Change your habits, too. Find a new coffee shop to get your morning coffee and a new place to eat your lunch. You do not want any accidental run-ins with your ex.

If someone new wasn't the reason for the break up, you should hold off on dating for a while. Rebound relationships never really work. They may feel good for a while but what you need right now is to learn how to be on your own. Even if you are the one who was the breaker upper getting into a rebound relationship is still a bad idea, so give yourself time to learn how to get over a breakup.


 

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Heartbroken Poem – To Help Get Over Him

When you break up from someone you may find yourself at times reading heartbroken poems, quotes or even listening to break up songs. Reading poems and quotes and listening to break up songs can help to comfort you during this difficult time but they won't actually help you to get over your ex or to get back with him.

If you would like to get back with your ex then forget about the heartbroken poems and start taking some steps to mend your broken relationship. You may read some of the following steps for getting your ex back and think that they would actually make things worse, but love isn't always as it seems. Love doesn't always follow logic.

The first step to get your ex back is to accept the break up and accept that you both need some time apart. This time apart may let him realize that he wants to be with you. During this time apart don't call or text him and certainly don't send him any heartbroken poems. This is a difficult time and a difficult step but it will be for the best result in getting this relationship back together.

Don't sit around wallowing in self pity as this will just lead you to reading those heartbroken poems and listening to those break up songs. This is the time that you can begin making some changes that might help to heal your broken relationship. Have a good look at what might have gone wrong in your relationship and see if it is something that you can change. If you aren't willing to make some changes then perhaps this relationship is finished for good.

Letting your ex know how much you are hurting and how much you still love him sounds like the right move to make if you want him back, right? Wrong! Sending him a heartfelt letter or a heartbroken poem may actually do more harm than good.

If you write a heartbroken poem you are writing it at a time when you are full of emotion and not thinking straight. Your ex may read the poem the wrong way and not get the true meaning of how you are really feeling. The words you right will probably be very powerful but you may unintentionally include some that might be hurtful to him. Your ex may also take such a poem as emotional black mail and this could make him defensive and actually push him further away.

By sending him a letter or poem it may look to him as though you are still not concerned about the actual issues that drove you apart. He might feel that you are being selfish and only thinking about your own feelings and dismissing his feelings and needs. If you have broken up then there must be a reason for it and that reason needs to be addressed before the relationship can be healed.

Give him some space and take this time to re-evaluate your own life. Take this time to think long and hard about this relationship and if it is actually worth saving. If it is, then find what went wrong and then find a solution to that problem. You need to remember though that it will take both of you to make changes and work on the problems in the relationship and if your ex isn't willing to do that then you may be fighting a losing battle.

Remember that love doesn't always follow logic and even though you just feel like sitting around wallowing in self pity, this is not the best action to take. Even though you feel like writing down all your feelings in a heartbroken poem and sending it to him, this is not the best action to take.

A broken relationship will take time to heel and you need to give your ex the space and time that he needs, that you both need, so you can successfully put the pieces back together.


 

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Getting Over A Break Up Is Hard To Do

Have you just gone through a break up recently, and you still have a lot of deep, dark, negative feelings? Perhaps your feelings go from one extreme to the other; one moment you love them more than anything, and the next moment you're glad you broke up and hope you never see them again. If so, then you should know that you are not alone. A lot of people have experienced the exact same thing.

Now, a break up isn't the same thing as having somebody close to you die, but there are some similarities; especially in the emotions you face after it happens. This makes more sense when you consider a break up as losing somebody you love. However, your former partner is still alive, and that has led some people who have experienced both things to say a break up is harder to get over than the death of a spouse. I don't know if I would make a statement as bold as that, but it'[s obvious that some people do feel that way.

Regardless of which is worse, there are things that you can do to make things better. You can start by writing a lengthy letter to your ex. Don't hold back. Tell them everything: how you feel, what you think of them, call them every name in the book, vent your anger and frustration…anything goes! Don't worry about what you write because nobody will ever read it. That's because the next step is to take the finished letter and burn it. This has a lot of symbolism and will allow you to express some of the more difficult emotions without having to worry about them.

The next step is to tie up any lose ends (there may be a lot of them). Get rid of those things that remind of your ex, or at least store them out of site for a while. The fewer reminders you have, the better. Now, if you plan on getting your ex back, that's okay, this step can be temporary. Also, if there are any bills the two of you are splitting, then pay your share, or get that straightened out as soon as you can. Any other loose ends need to be worked out.

Once that's done, you need to break off all contact with your ex for two to four weeks. That's why it's so important to do the previous steps. If you don't get rid of the emotional baggage, or tie up the loose ends, then you will make excuses to get in touch with your ex…but you have to wait! You both need some time and space to come to terms with the break up, and that can't happen if you are pestering each other.

These steps will work for you whether you want to get your ex back or just move on with your life. However, they are only the beginning. It's a good idea to learn more, as there are tons of tricks you can use to help you get over a break up.


 

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Get Your Ex Back Without Playing Mind Games

So, you've been dumped. Sorry to hear that, really. Hopefully you can take some small comfort in knowing that you are not alone in that regard. There is a lot of good advice out there, but the catch is that you actually have to take action. And you should do something to win your ex back if you still have feelings for them. But that doesn't mean you should play head games to do it.

If you have only recently broken up, then the first thing you should do is cut off all contact with your ex. You both need some time and space to be alone so you can sort things out. That means no emails, no text messages, no phone calls and no tracking them down so you can talk to them in person. If your ex is the one constantly trying to contact you, then be firm and tell them you need some alone time.

On the other hand, if the two of you have been broken up for a while, and haven't had any contact, then you need to get in touch with them again. This can be tricky. You don't want to lay it on so thick that you only push them further away. Instead, use a low key approach–especially at first–and be polite. The purpose of your first chat is to reopen the lines of communication; to get your ex used to the idea of hearing from you again.

Now, the longer you have been apart, the higher the chance that your ex will be seeing somebody else. As hard as it may be, you need to respect their right to be with someone else. Also, do not hold any grudge against the new person in their lives. But even if they are with someone new, don't give up hope. You can still try to contact them once in a while, and then all you can do is bide your time and see if they break up. That's when you can make your move.

But why would they get back together with you, when the two of you have already broken up? That's a fair question, but one without an easy answer. The truth is that it can take a lot of work. You need to dig below the surface and get to the root of what led to your break up. For example, you may think that too much arguing was the cause of the split, but arguing is only an external symptom of a deeper problem. Your task is to find what that deeper problem is.

Once you have that worked out you have a few options. You can fix it, ignore it or forgive it. If it's something that could be a problem if the two of you get back together, then you need to fix it. If it's a minor issue, and one you are sure won't be a problem, then you may choose to ignore it. If it's something that hurt you emotionally and can't be undone or fixed, then forgiveness is your best option.


 

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Get A Guy Back – Forgive And Forget

The question of how to get a guy back isn't always an easy one to answer. Sure, there are some basic things you can do, but it takes more than just a flirtatious wink and smile to get an ex back. That's part of the problem…if you're asking how to get a guy back, then that means you must have went through a break up at some point. So, with that in mind, here are some tips you can use to help win him back for good.

Before we go any further, there is one thing that needs to be cleared up. No matter the circumstances surrounding the break up, both of you were at fault to some extent. That means you can't blame everything on him, and you can't blame everything on yourself…and he can't do those things in regard to his side of things either. This is important to understand because it will help you to solve the problems that led to the break up instead of just sweeping them under the rug.

So, not to get too philosophical, but because you both had a role in the break up, you need to be willing to forgive. This works both ways. However, you should forgive because it's the right thing to do, not because you are expecting to be forgiven in return. Yes, that's what you would prefer, but there's no guarantee it will happen. But that doesn't excuse you from forgiving your ex.

A lot of people seem quick to give advice on how to get a guy back, but very few (if any) will fill you in on the secret of forgiveness. Once you have let go of the grudge you will feel like a new person, as though a burden has been lifted. Again, it's vital that you do this for the right reasons, otherwise it could backfire. Alright, you get the idea: forgiveness is important…but it's only the beginning.

You need to understand that while you may be ready to move forward with working things out, your ex may not. That's okay, you're both different people. If your ex boyfriend needs more time, then give it to him.

Once both of you are ready to start talking about what has happened, and the possibility of moving forward, it's vital that you keep your cool. Chances are that even though you have forgiven him, some of those bad memories will have to be dealt with. The key to doing this without ruining your chances of getting back together is to only bring up those things that could affect your future. In other words, have the final goal in mind and fix those things need fixing, and forgive or forget those things that don't.

Doing these steps will not always be easy, but they will put you on the right path to get a guy back. And as long as you know that's possible, you will have the drive you need to make it happen.


 

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Factors That Can Affect A Relationship Depression Is One Of The Worst

There are a number of things that can go wrong between couples. Of all the factors that can affect a relationship, depression is one of the worst. Why? It can be extremely difficult to treat and when the person is feeling depressed, their mood can affect the whole family.

Depression is a horrible illness not least as sufferers often suffer in silence. They do not realize that there is plenty of help available. With the right support, counseling and sometimes medication, you can beat this illness and become your old self again. But first you have to admit there is a problem.

People with depression are not just sad but feel extremely low. They often struggle to get through the day never mind deal with other people and their emotions. They can feel unloved but only unworthy of being loved. They may want to sleep all day but possibly not be able to sleep at all.

It is very difficult to watch someone you love battle this illness. You can feel completely helpless and perhaps even a little to blame. You may want to shake your partner and tell them to snap out of it. Your relationship will suffer as they won't be capable of showing affection very often and will probably be uncommunicative and miserable a lot of the time.

So what can you do?

The main thing is to try to support your partner at their time of need. Get them medical help. Don't try to brush everything under the carpet. Most cases of depression do not get better on their own without medical intervention. You may not need tablets. Your doctor will be able to recommend a counselor who can assist you to deal with this illness.

Take some time out for yourself as this illness can be contagious. Being around someone who is constantly crying or emotional is challenging for anyone and your mood may suffer. You need to take some time away from the situation in order to preserve your good humor and ability to deal with the situation. Get support for yourself. There are groups and charities available for partners of depressed people where you can express your thoughts, anger or frustration to people who understand and are non judgmental.

Educate yourself on the type of illness your partner has. The more you know about it the more you may be able to help. But do not fall into the trap of telling them how they should be feeling as only they can know that. While they are ill, try to help out more around the house

Try to remain positive. Most episodes last a relatively short period of time and one attack does not mean that it will come back or continue for the rest of your partner's life. Love your partner unconditionally. They are ill and underneath they are the same person you fell in love with. Value your relationship, depression doesn't always last and you will both return to normal one day.


 

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Emotional Infidelity Is There Really Such A Thing

Are you wondering about emotional infidelity, what it is and is it ok if you're in a relationship? Well you're not alone. Many people think about infidelity only on one level: the physical. In fact it's true to say, that many people don't even believe there's such a thing as emotional infidelity. Well they're wrong!

First of all let's define "emotional infidelity!" This classically occurs when someone in a committed relationship/marriage forms an emotional attachment with a third person outside of the relationship. This may seem trivial to begin with but it can escalate and become something else – in short, become physical.

So, if you've formed a friendship that you cannot tell your spouse/partner about then you should seriously ask yourself why? To be perfectly honest, you should not have a relationship/friendship with anyone that you cannot openly and honestly discuss with your partner. The minute your partner is shut out of any part of your life there is a potential for distance. With distance comes real and potential problems to your relationship.

This is not to say that you have to tell your spouse/partner about every single part of your day. The distinction here is that if you are deliberately hiding a friendship with a third person, and hiding the nature of that friendship, from your spouse/partner!

What you should also consider, when it comes to emotional infidelity, is how your partner would feel if they ever found out? Perhaps you are sharing intimate details of your life with your partner with your secret friend? How would your partner feel about that? Knowing that any problems the two of you are having are being openly discussed by you with someone outside of your relationship? Not only that, someone who could quickly become a destructive element within your relationship?

Emotional infidelity, might seem like a little bit of harmless fun when you first set out but it can quickly and dangerously escalate into something that can seriously threaten your relationship. You will find that your partner will have picked up on the fact that you're even more distant than usual and this is because you are sharing with someone else and pretty soon you're thinking about that someone else more and more.

Once this happens it can often be a short step towards a full on physical relationship and that's why any emotional attachment that your partner does not know about it so dangerous.

If there is a problem in your relationship then it is best sorted out between you and your partner and if need be with professional outside help, or perhaps even with trusted friends.

Make no mistake emotional infidelity is as dangerous as physical infidelity.


 

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Does My Ex Still Love Me Or Am I Kidding Myself

Have you asked a good friend "does my ex still love me?" Well this really is one of those classic questions that people ask when they haven't moved on from a relationship that is over. Chances are your friend has no answer for you that will help you and so you're still left wondering.

The truth is that a question like, "does my ex still love me?" can be a dangerous one to ask. This is because you might not get the answer you're looking for. As I've said, often times we will ask a question like that when we're still hung up on our exes and we're looking for reassurance and an OK that it's alright for us to go on and rescue the relationship. If this is what you're doing, make sure you're clear in your own mind that you could be setting yourself up for a heavy fall if your ex doesn't still love you.

With that said, there is a real truth in the fact that sometimes relationships do need space and air in order for them to resume and continue. People say the most hurtful and painful things to each other when they're arguing! And in temper they end up walking out and shouting "it's over!" more times than it actually is.

What can follow in a situation like this is weeks and months of couples refusing to talk to each other and refusing to see each other, but deep down inside they're hurting with regret and longing that they've parted. If this is your situation then the answer to your question, "does my ex still love me?" is more than likely "Yes!"

In a stiutation like this, there is probably still a chance that the couple can still find a way back together if just one of them takes that initial step and asks to meet up to talk.

Now the only way to know one way or the other if this is your stiutation or if you're deluding yourself, is not to ask a friend, but to make contact with your ex and ask your ex. Often times this simple step is not taken because one or both of those involved don't want to lose face and make the first move. Well rather than sitting there wondering for days, weeks or more, make that first contact!

Arrange to meet somewhere neutral and after the initial pleasantries are over, work your question into the conversation. Be direct, be honest and get the answer from the only person who knows for sure. It really is the only way that you can stop yourself wasting time, longing and wondering what the real answer to your question "does my ex still love me?" really is!


 

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