Separation Relationships – Is It Really Over

Separation relationships are often the step that comes before divorce but that is not always the case. Some relationships need help to get through a rough patch and even if it has come to a separation there may still be hope of reunited and making the relationship work. If you both still love one another and still want the relationship to work, then it can be saved if you both put in the effort.

Separation relationships are always between married couples, they can happen to any long term relationship. Separation will usually occur when a relationship has been on rocky grounds for a while and one or both partners feel that they need to part ways and see how things go. Sometimes they just need a break and some time to themselves to think about the future of the relationship.

Couples may often separate if an infidelity has occurred and been discovered and the partner that has been cheated on needs some space and some time to think things through. Any breach of trust between two people can lead to a separation, sometimes temporary and sometimes permanent. Separation doesn't need to be a step on the way to divorce or a permanent break up, it can be a period used to heal and then make the relationship stronger.

If a relationship is completely 100% over and one person will not even consider getting back together then they usually don't go down the path of a separation relationship but will instead just end the relationship completely. Separation is usually a time when a couple needs to figure out just where the relationship is heading and how to move forward.

If you agree to a separation because you don't want to hurt your partner but you really have no intention of ever going back to them, then this will just hurt them more in the long term. Postponing the hurt doesn't make it any easier but you may just be giving them false hope of the relationship being restored.

In a separation relationship both partners are willing to think things through and be open to the idea of giving the relationship another go. It doesn't always end up with a happy relationship but it does mean that you both still want to try and make it work.

If you are in a separation relationship you need to give your partner space so they can take the time that they need to think about their life and their future. You shouldn't try to rush them into coming back or that may send them in the other direction, you want to give them all the time they need and when they are ready they will come back. Let them know that you still love them and want them back but don't rush them.

Letting them know that you love them and want them back doesn't mean telling them constantly and harassing them every day. By harassing them you are not letting them have the space that they need to think things through. You might need to just take things slowly for a while.

If your partner has cheated on you then you are the one that will probably need some space to figure out if you want to take them back. If this was a one off incident then it may be something that you are willing to forgive and move on with the relationship. If you were the one to commit the infidelity then you need to assure your partner that it will never happen again and then give them the space that they need to deal with their emotions and thoughts.

When you are in a separation relationship you need to treat your partner with respect and give them the space they need. Try to work things through together and there is a good chance that you may get back together and have a happy future together.


 

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Relationship Fun Keeps A Relationship Alive

We all know how to have fun, at least we used to. For many adults we seem to have lost the ability to just let go and have some fun, along with some great, big belly laughs. Unfortunately that lack of fun can have serious negative effects on us, our health, and our relationships. Put some relationship fun back in your life. You might save your relationship…and your mind!

Having fun with your partner can be virtually anything that the two of you enjoy together. And if it makes you laugh out loud, that's even better. You can go to an amusement park, check out the latest comedy at the local movie theater, stay home and play a energetic video game, whatever. One word of caution though when playing games together: don't let your competitiveness become a problem This isn't a competition between you and your partner, it's a chance for the two of you to share an easy going, fun, time together.

If you are the type of person that is overly competitive (which is almost always a sign of being very insecure and you may want to get some counseling to help you feel better about yourself so you don't always have to 'win') then you'd be better off sticking to non- competitive fun things with your partner, forget the games for now.

When you really let go and act like a twit that can be a scary thing. You might be afraid your partner will think you're weird and make fun of you. When you can share these times with your partner and you are both acting silly together, that actually builds trust between the two of you. That is just another bond between the two of you and your relationship is one step stronger.

When you first started dating your partner, and falling in love, the two of you probably laughed and acted silly all the time. But as we grow into our relationship, especially when we start living together and start sharing the responsibilities of a household, we seem to have fun with our partners less and less.

One thing you can do to determine how much fun is in your relationship, is over the course of a week keep a journal. Mark down how many things you do with your partner that are pleasant such as watch a movie together, talk, go for a walk, play a game, and have sex, etc versus how many non-fun things you do together such as take out the trash, talk about your financial situations, talk about troubles at work, etc.

If this ratio of good times vs. bad times is like most relationships it's probably way out of balance. Most couples will have many more of the mundane daily interactions than they will of the fun loving, building a bond interactions. The first step to changing it is to recognize it.

You can strengthen your bond with your partner by putting some relationship fun back into your everyday lives. It's not a hard thing to do and you'll both feel better about yourselves, about each other, and about your relationship…what could be better?


 

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Relationship Couples

I'm not that old, so I don't know for sure, but it seems like these days we make everything so much more complicated than it needs to be. That is especially true when it comes to relationship couples seem to find it so hard to figure out the problem and many times the problem is a small and simple thing.

One analogy I often use is that of a stone wall. Think of your relationship. Every time you do or say something that hurts or annoys your partner, it's like adding another stone to the wall. A couple stones here and a few stones there don't matter all that much, you can still easily step over the wall to be close to your partner.

And, if you apologize, and make permanent changes, to the behaviors that caused your partner pain or annoyance, you can even remove a stone sometimes.

But if you do like most couples do, and you continue to add stones after stones after stones, and you don't remove any, you will find it virtually impossible to connect with your partner. By that point it will be very difficult and maybe even impossible to tear down the wall and have a meaningful relationship with your partner.

The trick is to make sure your wall never gets too high. How? Easy, talk. Just talk, don't yell, don't shout, don't accuse…talk.

It's very important each person in the relationship remembers that the other person has feelings too. When you are hurt and upset it's very easy to make everything all about 'you'. That won't work.

If you take the time to realize that your partner has their point of view and remember, this has absolutely nothing to do with right and wrong, it's simply about recognizing that each person has their own view of what has happened and you need to let them express that view without getting defensive or upset, you might actually find that you are on the same page…just a different sentence!

I've had that very same experience. My spouse and I had very heated discussions but once we calmed down and actually talked, and listened, we realized though we were saying it in different ways we were both saying basically the same thing!

Once you come to that place it will help you take a stone out of your wall and it can also help you in the future if you can remember that you and your partner probably aren't all that far off from each other, you're just expressing yourselves differently.

For the most part no matter what your age, gender, religious, or sexual preferences, everyone wants to feel love, respected, appreciated, and understood. You want that and so does your partner, when it comes to relationship couples will be much better off if they never lose sight of that. If you try to deal with your partner with those things in mind, and they do the same for you, your relationship will be much smoother, and there will be a lot fewer stones in your wall.


 

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Relationship Break Up Advice How To Save Your Relationship Or Move On

Are you looking for relationship breakup advice? Then you're probably feeling as though this is one of the lowest points in your life. Now that may very well be true, but however badly you're feeling right now, this feeling will pass! You will get through this!

What you do now, depends on the outcome you're looking for. If you're ready for the relationship to be over and have no interest in trying to save the relationship, then then you will go one way. If on the other hand you're looking for a way to save your relationship, then you will need a whole different set of tips and strategies to make this happen.

Relationship breakup advice for those who want to save their relationship is based on how you handle yourself in the run-up to the breakup and immediately after the breakup. If you are at the point in your relationship where your partner has just announced they want to end the relationship, then my advice to you is to agree to the breakup. Your biggest mistake would be to try and persuade your ex to stay in the relationship and not to leave you.

Agree to the breakup, let your ex go and wish them well. Your plan now is to get yourself together. Yes you're devastated that the one you love has walked out, but you have to find a way to deal with that devastation and to deal with it in a way that will help you rekindle your relationship in the future.

So spend some time coming to terms with what has happened in the relationship. You need to do this on your own, without your ex. Make no attempt to contact your ex, instead find your friends and your family and let them help you through this upsetting time.

What you can also do is to make peace with yourself. We all make mistakes and depending on the level of your mistake, it is forgivable! So don't spend the next few weeks beating yourself up. When it comes to contacting your ex in a few weeks, you need to be emotionally sound and appealing to pull off the reconciliation.

If you have no interest in rekindling the relationship, then the relationship breakup advice you're looking for is about finding strategies about how to cope with the trauma. You need to be able to move on with your life, so above all, give yourself time. Treat the ending of the relationship almost like a death.

It really doesn't matter whether you wanted the relationship to end or not. The point is it has ended and there was a time when you had real hopes for the relationship. Acknowledge that and acknowledge your disappointment that it has ended and you'll come through this in time.


 

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Relationship Break Up- Steps that will help you feel better

A relationship break up is something no one ever wants to have to deal with. It's painful and if you were blindsided you feel like you have been kicked in the teeth. Even if you knew it was coming you still need time to learn to deal. Learning to be without that one person who has been around for so long takes time.

There are steps you can take to make yourself feel better. Right off the bat you might feel like you just want to be alone. Go ahead. Tell all your family and friends you are going to take a couple of days just to cry it out and think things over and make a plan. This step is crucial and can be good for you as long as it is only for a couple of days. Make a plan to have one of your friends call you or stop by after a couple of days to make sure everything is alright.

During your alone time, make a plan for your immediate future. A relationship break up is not the end of the world and you are going to need a plan. You know the two of you had not been getting along recently and now you wonder if there was something you could have done differently to keep the two of you together. This is normal. Try not to spend too much time on this though because the important thing now is learning to get on with your life.

During your couple of days of being alone there are some healthy things you can do to start making a new life for yourself. One of them is boxing up all of the things that remind you of your ex and putting them away in storage. All those things you accumulated together need to be gone. Give them all to him if you feel like it. If you can't bear to part with them because they are a part of your life then at least get them out of sight for right now.

Another healthy way to handle things is to write down how you feel about the whole thing. Buy yourself a journal or even just a notebook will do. Doing this will help put things into perspective and help you keep your feelings in order. This is very healing and you can refer back to it whenever you need to.

When your couple of days of solitude are over, call your best girlfriend and get out of the house for awhile. Go to lunch, or go shopping, or go to the park and just talk. The fresh air will do you good and so will making contact with your friend. She will have worried about you and having contact will put her mind at ease also.

After a relationship break up you will feel as though you are undesirable. Getting in touch with your friends after a couple of days will show you that they still love you and are there to support you when going through this terrible time in your life.


 

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Relationship Advice Online

Most of us at one point or another in our lives will find ourselves in a difficult spot in our relationship. It can be tough to know which way to turn. There is help though, seeking out relationship advice online is one way to go.

For most people when faced with a crisis, of any kind, the first thing they do is talk things over with family or friends. And often, that's all it takes. Usually our problems aren't so in depth that it takes much more than a shoulder to cry on and a little tlc.

Sometimes, however, our problems go much deeper and not only do we need good advice, we need good un-biased advice, and that is something you can not go to your family and friends for. They will have their opinion sure, but it won't be unbiased. More than likely they will take your side in most everything…even if you're the one who is wrong.

If you're trying to salvage a relationship, that is not what you need. You need an objective person to tell you the truth, even the things you may not want to really hear. The painful truths, often the ones we run away from, are usually just what we need to hear.

Hiring a professional counselor or therapist can be a good way to go too. But before you do, keep a few things in mind. Therapists are just like any other group of professionals, some are better than others.

You should be particularly careful when choosing a faith based counselor. Why? Because sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes they will encourage you to stay in your relationship at all costs. They may be more concerned with their own religious beliefs and their bias against getting a divorce than they are for your well being and happiness. And the really bad part is they may not even realize they are doing it.

Now, I want to be clear. Using a faith based counseling service isn't a bad idea, just remember that everyone has an opinion, even non faith based therapists will have their own opinions, just make sure whatever therapist you see isn't blinded by their own opinion to the detriment of helping you figure out the best course of action for you.

And, last but not least, you can always use the enormous resources of the internet to help with your relationship questions. You could find forums, chat rooms, blogs, etc on relationships and relationship advice.

As with any other type of counseling just make sure you take everything with a grain of salt. Using online resources can be easier for some people since many people have a hard time opening up about personal issues face to face.

It can sometimes be easier to 'spill your guts' anonymously online. That can be a huge benefit since total honesty will be necessary to make the necessary changes in your life and to help you in your relationship.

So, if you're facing issues in your relationship and you want to get help just remember that you don't have to rely only on the 'traditional' offline methods. There is plenty of very good relationship advice online that can help you sort out all of your relationship issues.


 

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Relationship A Woman And Advice Dont Ask Me Brother

Trying to have a successful relationship can be a challenge for anyone. There is no one size fits all relationship or relationship advice. There are, however, some relationship and woman advice that can help women find, and keep, that great relationship they've been looking for.

As odd as it might sound, if you want a good relationship the first person you have to worry about is you. Too many women are looking for the wrong thing and for the wrong reasons.

Everyone wants to feel liked, loved, desired, and respected. That's a wonderful thing to find. But too many women don't feel they have any worth unless they are in a romantic relationship, and that's where the trouble starts.

You see it goes a little like this: a lonely insecure woman who feels desperate for the love of a man will put off 'desperate vibes'. The only kind of man she is going to attract is an insecure man who needs to control the women in his life so he can feel important. The two will enter into a twisted co-dependent relationship that won't be truly be satisfying to either one.

That is why it is vital that any woman who is looking for a serious relationship take a long hard, and possibly painful, look at herself. It's not that she's not good enough, it's just that she doesn't think she's good enough. Until she realizes her own worth she will continue to attract the wrong type of men, be subject to some level of abuse whether verbal, emotional, or much worse, and will never really get the love she wants and deserves.

And the abuse in this type of situation is virtually guaranteed. You have to understand that a decent secure man will never be attracted to an insecure desperate woman. So that only leaves the kind of men that don't know any other way than to abuse women.

They may not physically abuse them, and it may not even be real overt, but the abuse will be there. He will onstantly be making snide and hurtful comments about her looks, her weight, her cooking, her housekeeping, or her lovemaking… and that is abuse.

Then after suffering from that abuse over a period of time women will only have lower self esteem and even if they break up with their partner the cycle will continue, only it will probably be worse since her self esteem is so much lower than before.

You can nip this problem in the bud. Just slow down, take some time to make sure you are the woman of your dreams. Make sure you are the type of woman you truly want to be, strong, confident, capable. If you need some help to get to that point don't hesitate to find a good therapist and enlist their help.

It might take time but it will be time well spent. If you truly want to have a lifetime of love and fulfillment you need to make sure you are the kind of woman who 'demands' it. Not by stomping your feet or becoming a shrew, but by being strong and capable and knowing that you deserve the very best. When you become that type of woman than you will attract the type of man that can truly make you happy.

Even though it might not be what some people want to hear, I hope that this relationship woman advice is taken to heart. I've seen the pattern above repeated with a dear friend of mine and she's in yet another lousy relationship with an insecure guy who makes himself feel like a big man by knocking her down. She, and you, can do much, much better.


 

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Moving On Break Up Its All About Timing

Do you want to know how to start moving on break up? We all know that break ups are hard, how you handle it is completely up to you. Maintaining your self-respect is very important. You could go to the extreme and you can throw things, break things, threaten your ex, be completely miserable and vow to hate the opposite sex for the rest of your life or you can choose to learn how to get on with your life after a brief period of grieving.

Choosing to get on with your life means making a plan to learn what it takes to be single again and sticking with it. It may take some time but tell yourself you will get through this and you will. Even though you do not think you have the strength, you probably do it is just hidden because you are scared and hurt right now.

So, take a day, or two, to throw things, break things and feel miserable. You need this to move on to the next step. Just make sure that you don't go over the twenty-four to forty-eight hours. That is all you get. No one is worth more than that amount of time. Once things start to get clearer, you may even feel like you are better off without them. All they were doing was bringing you down anyway, right?

When your twenty-four to forty-eight hours are up, get up the next morning and start clearing away any and all of the things that will remind you of whatstheirname. Pictures, ticket stubs, cards, jewelry, whatever it is, pack it up. Put it in storage or if things were really bad just throw it in the trash. Let the garbage man handle moving on break up.

When you are done putting things out of sight you will probably feel somewhat empowered for the first time since the break up so call someone to come pick you up and go have some fun. Go do something to make yourself feel better. If you feel like getting physical, how about going to a batting cage? Yoiu can smack the heck out of those balls and pretend they are someone else's.

Whatever you do, don't have any contact with the one who broke up with you. Do not call them or text them or message them on Facebook, nothing. Adopt a no-contact policy, none, zip, zilch, nada. It will not do you any good and will only succeed in keeping you down to their level and staying miserable. Let it all go.

There are so many other things you can do to keep your mind off of how bad you feel. Go to the library and check out a good book. Join an exercise class and start to get in shape. Check out the local community college and sign up to take a class. Go to a local nursing home and volunteer your time. Go eat some ice cream. Concentrate on you for a while. Do what you want to do. Soon you will be feeling better again and one day you will realize that you have moved on.

When this realization hits home you can smile at yourself and be optimistic about your future. See I told you that you would find the strength, guess what, you are now even stronger than you were before, too. Now you can consider dating and getting back into another relationship. Do not jump from one bad relationship to another. A new relationship probably won't work if you get into one too soon and you will then have to learn moving on break up over someone else along with the first one.


 

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Married Relationship Keeping It Strong And Healthy

If you're married, or contemplating marriage, and you want to know the best ways to keep a married relationship strong, healthy, and happy, I have some ideas for you.

For one thing, as in many things these days, we all have a tendency of making things much harder than they really need to be. Most people are very kind, loving, and patient to their partner…when they first start dating. Unfortunately much of that seems to wear off over time. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why that happens?

I'm not completely sure but I know if we go into our relationships with open eyes and are aware of that potential, and fight against it happening, we have a better chance of not falling into that trap.

So many of the things that occur to us that have a negative impact on our lives and relationships tend to happen by default. They just happen and we're not paying attention. If we just paid attention and nipped these negative traits in the bud before they really got a foot hold in our relationship we could probably save it from happening in the first place.

Another extremely important thing to remember is to always have fun with your spouse. A good friend of mine, who is now divorced, was married to a man who loved to play. He played many sports such as softball, golf, bowling, etc. The problem was he never wanted to do any of those fun activities with his wife. He only wanted to do them with his friends. Why? The wife told me that after going to counseling the counselor suggested that he didn't want to do the activities with her because he was very insecure and he was afraid she might beat him, or at least be competitive, which he couldn't handle.

The end result was that her and her husband didn't have a strong loving bond. He didn't spend fun times with her only the mundane daily task times. That eventually led to the dissolution of their marriage.

If you want to keep your relationship strong it's very important that the two of you share more than the mundane, daily household chores. You need to share laughs, fun loving easy going times together too. If you're the ultra competitive type than you may want to stay away from playing games together but that still leaves a lot you can do, you can go to movies, concerts, etc.

Another potential problem in your marriage can come from having children. Now don't get me wrong, children are a blessing. But if you enter into parenthood with some fairy tale image of what it will be like you could be in trouble. It's very important for you and your partner to discuss, honestly, your outlook on raising children…before you have them.

If the two of you aren't on the same page, and many couples aren't, than it will create a lot of stress in your relationship. The best way to overcome that is to make sure even before you have children that the two of you can talk over any problem and reach a compromise. That skill will serve you well when you become parents.

No couple is going to agree on everything but if you and your partner have developed good communication skills prior to having children and are able to talk things out and come to some middle ground, that will go a long way in preventing a lot of squabbles when you become parents.

It's really not that hard to have a wonderfully fulfilling married relationship just remember that your partner is a trusted friend and talk to them, not at them…and have some fun every now and then!


 

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
 

Im Still In Love – My Ex Is Not

Have you found yourself in this situation when you can say 'I am still in love; my ex is not in love with me'. This really is a terrible situation to be in as it is just devastation to be in love with someone and know that they don't love you back. Perhaps it isn't that your ex doesn't love you but perhaps the spark you once had just needs to be reignited.

If you are still in love with your ex and you think that he may still have some feelings for you then it might not be too late to salvage your relationship. It is time to sit down and take a long, hard look at your relationship as it is now and also as it was just before you broke up. Ask yourself if there is anything that you can do to fix whatever went wrong and restore the relationship.

Sometimes following a break up you need to give your ex some space to clear his head and it is good for you to take this time and clear your own head and really think about the future. If your ex is avoiding you then he probably needs that time to himself to think things through. If there is a particular reason that your ex is avoiding you then maybe you need to see if you can fix the problem so that he will talk to you. If you're not sure why he's avoiding you then enlist the help of his friends to find out what the reason is and what you can do to make things better.

When you break up with someone you basically have two choices. You can either walk away and move on with your life, and perhaps this is the best choice depending on the situation, or you can take steps to try and sort out any problems you have and save the relationship. You can make some changes that can help to rekindle the passion you once shared.

It can take a bit of work to make a failed relationship work but if you are willing to put in that work it can be worth it.

The first step you should take to save the relationship is to invite your ex out to lunch or coffee just so you can have a chat. Talk about what went wrong in the relationship and what it was that led to the break up. Don't let him know that you want to get back together with him; this is simply a chat to get things out in the open and to get an understanding of how he is feeling.

Next you need to give your ex some space to think about what was discussed and the current situation. You also need this time to think things through and based on what you learned from that conversation you can create a plan for rekindling the relationship.

Then when you think the time is right you should approach your ex and talk once again about your relationship but this time let him know that you would like to give it another go. Discuss the changes you are willing to make to improve what went wrong and if he is sharing the feelings you have then there is a good chance he will want to give this relationship another go.


 

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment