There is a lot of advice about how to mend a broken heart. Some of it is better than others. In this article I'm going to give you some ideas of things you can do. None of these things will make it all go away, though some of them may help speed up the healing process a little bit.

But, at the end of the day, you will have to reconcile yourself to the fact that you will feel pain. I'm sorry but that is the truth. But never lose sight of this one important fact: it really will get better.

I know that when you are in the midst of so much pain it is very easy to fall into a depression and find it impossible to believe things will ever get better. But when you are at that point you just have to fake it 'til you make it.

Even if you aren't really convinced you will ever be happy again, keep telling yourself that you will be. If you do, you will eventually find that you are slowly starting to feel better.

Here are some other things you can do to help you get over your lost relationship and mend a broken heart:

1. Allow yourself what I call "wallowing time". This is the time when you give yourself permission to fall apart. It's ok as long as the things you do aren't self destructive.

Give yourself permission to over eat for a few days, allow yourself a day off of work, spend most of your free time in your home in your pajamas. All of this is ok as long as you don't take it too far.

In general, give yourself a week or so of wallowing time.

2. Once your wallowing time is over (that's not to say that the grieving period is over) you must move on to the next stage which is getting back into the world. Now let's be clear, I'm not talking about dating or necessarily even hanging out with friends.

I'm just talking about going back to work, not existing solely on ice cream and maybe taking a shower. Simple stuff.

Slowly ease back into a more normal existence.

3. After a few weeks of just living you are probably feeling slightly stronger. A this point you might want to consider spending a little time with friends or family. Nothing fancy, just get out of the house and out of your own head for a while.

This may also be a good time to make some changes in your life. Why not take a class, get a new hairstyle or new glasses, take up a hobby? A great way to start a new phase in your life.

4. After several weeks or months you should be starting to feel better and stronger. You still may not be even close to 100% but you are probably getting a little stronger every day. At this point you may even want to do even more social activities though you probably shouldn't start dating just yet.

5. Next, you are whole again. It may seem to happen suddenly but one day you will wake up and you will be happy. Thoughts of your ex, if you have them at all, will be ok to deal with.

You may still feel a little sadness that the relationship didn't last but you aren't devastated any more. This is the time you may want to consider to start dating again.

The process to mend a broken heart is pretty much the same for everyone. These tips should help. If you don't seem to be bouncing back at all you may want to talk to someone to get help moving on.

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There is much conjecture, usually among women, as to why some (not all) men seem so reluctant to apologize. Is it true that men that never apologize view apologies as a sign of weakness?

It's an age old dilemma, and it is not much of a secret, men and women simply do not fully understand the way we each think and act.

But, the real question is this: do men and women act the way they do because of some pre -wiring and physiology? Or is it more because of the programming we get from the society we live in?

I'm not an expert but my money is on a combination of both. We know that men can be capable of great love and sensitivity, yet for many men, they rarely show it. Why?

I suspect that to a large degree it will go back to a few main characteristics of the particular man in question:

1. How was he raised? What were his parents like? You can almost always bet that a man who had a more sensitive and nurturing father and mother will be more sensitive and nurturing too.

If he was raised by a strong man (I don't mean a pompous macho man who is overcompensating for some perceived short coming) who is not afraid to open up with his emotions, he will likely be more like that.

2. Is your guy secure in himself? If he is, he will likely be more willing to apologize. There are many who think that apologizing is a sign of weakness, but that doesn't make any sense at all.

Since when is it "weak" to do the right thing even when it is difficult to do? We teach our kids that they should do the right thing no matter how hard it is.

If our kids know it, grown men should know it too.

It isn't a sign of weakness to apologize, that is just an excuse.

3. Some guys are so embarrassed by their mistake they basically want to pretend it never happened.

I read an article that said that since men tend to be more visual than women they won't apologize until they see your pain.

In other words, unless you break down he won't realize he has hurt you and he won't apologize.

With all due respect, bull. I don't believe that. I believe men are much deeper than some primitive neanderthal.

I believe men are perfectly smart enough to figure out when they have caused another person pain without having to "see" the results.

So, I guess I'm saying, that I believe most men are perfectly capable of recognizing their mistakes and offering a sincere apology to someone they have hurt.

Men that never apologize are most likely just afraid. Afraid to admit to you or anyone else that they were wrong. Afraid because they don't know if they can make it right and really just want it to all go away. That is kind of weak, wouldn't you say?

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We are all looking for love in our own way. Humans are naturally social creatures, we want to find a mate whom we can spend the rest of our lives with. But this can be a difficult task. We are all stuck wading through life, hoping to stumble upon that one special someone. Whether it is you trying to find someone for yourself or Matchmaking friends to help them out, the search is never easy.

As difficult as the search may be, what happens when that search actually comes to an end? What do you do when you think you have found that special someone, that one person with whom you see yourself growing old with? It is at this time that you need to put on your A game and not make any mistakes, as the last thing you want is to drive them away and ruin your chance at happiness.

Now, as melodramatic as that might sound, it really is not that difficult to put yourself on the road towards building a good, stable relationship. There are just a few basic things you should always keep in mind to ensure you have the largest chance of success.

The first thing you should always remember is to go nice and slow. This is vital, whether you are trying to get someone for yourself or Matchmaking friends with someone. If you push it too fast then you will just make them uncomfortable and drive them away. You need to become friends before you can become lovers and that takes time.

On the flip side, you also do not want to drag your feet and refuse to take action. Extremes are bad, too slow or too fast, you want to avoid them both. Take the initiative, move your relationship forward, but do so at a steady pace and make sure you check for signs that they are ready to move on to the next stage.

Once you have that stuck firmly in your mind, the next thing you should do is try to get to know them. This seems obvious, and in a lot of ways it is. When dating people will often pretty themselves up, not just physically but mentally. But a lot of times they take it too far and outright lie, pretending to be someone they are not. You need to take the time to break through this facade until you see the real them.

You need to make sure you are compatible, because whether it is a personal relationship or Matchmaking friends together, if they are not compatible with one another the relationship will not last. So you will want to make sure you share similarities and similar interests so that you can enjoy your time together.

You will also want to remind yourself and your friends (if you are playing cupid) not to build that facade. You do not want to put your partner through this same digging after all. Just be yourselves and present to them the good and the bad (but definitely more good than bad).

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There are many professional Matchmaking pros and cons, much like everything else in the world. There are so many people in this world that it can be quite simple to meet someone, so from that point of view professional matchmaking may seem unnecessary. On the other hand, though, is that with so many people it can be difficult meeting the right person. This is where online dating or professional matchmaking come into play.

As I said, there are pros and cons with everything so if you are thinking about using a professional matchmaking service then you need to weight those pros and cons to see if it is the right choice for you. Professional matchmaking is not the only choice out there so just because you find it is not right for you does not mean there are not other methods you can try.

The pros of using an online professional matchmaking service.

1. Wide range of people. With professional matchmaking services you get access to people from all across the globe as they sign up for this service. This obviously gives you more reach than just the people in your home town, giving you a higher chance of meeting that special someone.

2. You can look over the people you meet. With professional matchmaking services there are always profiles you can look over to get a brief idea of what that person is like. From there you can choose to make contact and get to know them slowly through the safety of the internet.

The Cons of using online professional matchmaking services.

1. Distance. While Matchmaking pros and cons exist, a lot of them can be mitigated or simply may not apply to you. This one, however, can be quite the doozy. Meeting someone you like but are other sides of the planet can pose a significant problem if you ever plan on meeting up.

2. Can require you to pay. While this is not true for all services, for many of them you will be required to pay a fee. This can be a very big dark spot on an otherwise good looking service as we may not feel inclined to spend our hard earned cash on something that may or may not work. But it is up to you to decide if this is a con you are willing to live with.

Utilizing professional matchmaking services is only one of the many tools at your disposal. So if the Matchmaking pros and cons do not weigh in your favor, you can always look elsewhere. Whether it be online or local services, or if you simply choose to go it alone.

One thing you should always keep in mind, though, is that not all services are the same. So a con for one service may not apply to another. If the prospect of getting professional help in your search for a soul mate appeals to you, then do not give up after the first try as there is bound to be a service out there that you can use.

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Finding that special someone is no easy take. We can spend our whole lives looking and never meet our soul mate. So any advantage we can get is always appreciated this. This is why so many people are looking for great Matchmaking Ideas to help improve their odds of finding the love of their life. It was because of this desire to improve our odds that so many variations of dating have come about. There are a lot of methods you can employ to help you find your dream girl or dream guy.

If you are serious about finding that special someone, then you will probably try all of these methods. But a little word of encouragement is to never give up. You will never find that person if you give up, and what do you have to lose? So with that in mind, here are some ways you can go about finding your soul mate.

1. Online dating. With the internet and it's ever growing popularity, online dating is a real, viable alternative. Millions of people use the web to hook up, through dating services or just social hubs like facebook. This is probably one of the easiest Matchmaking Ideas out there and definitely one you will want to look into.

2. Speed dating. While an aged practice it has it's share of success stories. You may not find speed dating events in your area, but if they are held then go take a look. It is only one night of your time and who knows, you might find what you are looking for. It never hurts to try after all.

3. Faith based events. Churches often hold social events with the sole intent of allowing single men and women the chance of finding the love of their life. Even if you may not be the most faithful person in the world, these events are a great opportunity to find that special someone, an opportunity you should use.

4. Matchmaking services. You will find most of these have migrated to the web now days but whether internet based or real life based, matchmaking services can be a great way to go. They usually cost money but they screen their participants and match you up with those who most closely match your profile, giving you the highest chance of success.

5. Approach them. In the end, the simplest of all Matchmaking Ideas is to simply go out and ask someone. Bar hopping, or someone from college, or a friend of a friend. If you see someone who catches your eye then do not be afraid to simply go up and start a conversation. They may reject you but in the end, at least you tried. If you let fear of rejection stop you then you are only limiting yourself. What if that person agreed? Always give it a shot.

If you present yourself as a confident, nice individual then odds are that person will give you some time. If they are not interested, then politely excuse yourself and move on. It can not hurt to try, so go out and do your best.

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If you are longing for companionship and want to find your soul mate, then the world of dating is where you will have to turn. Dating is a vast and cumbersome process, there are nearly seven billion people on this planet, so finding one that is compatible with you can be a real challenge. This is why so many people have developed so many tips to help you in the Match Making Trade.

When looking at potential partners the very first thing you will want to keep in mind is compatibility. Ideally, you will be spending the rest of your life with this person so if you can not get along and enjoy each other's company, then your relationship is doomed to fail right from the get go.

Make sure you and your potential partner have things in common. They say opposites attract and that may be true, but that can only be true to a point. If you are total opposites, odds are you will not enjoy being with each other as you share no common interests. So even if opposites attract, it's the positives you want. They do not have to share every one of your interests, nor you theirs, but you should share some common ground at the very least.

The next thing you should keep in mind when working in the Match Making Trade is to go slow. If you have found a potential soul mate, and you share things in common and enjoy spending time together, then you do not want to ruin it by moving too fast. Take it slow, nice and easy, and let things progress from there. You do not want your partner to feel rushed or pressured into a relationship.

However, a word of warning, do not take it too slow. Extremes are always bad, so going too slow can be just as damaging as going too fast. Do your best to gauge your partner's responses and see if they are comfortable with moving to the next level or not.

You will also want to learn as much as you can about that person. Too often we will get caught up with their appearance and fall head over heels for superficial things without really knowing the true them. This can take time but you need to know who exactly you are dealing with, and not the mask they are wearing.

People will pretty themselves up and make themselves look attractive, both physically and personality wise (something you should do as well). But there comes to a point when you need to see past that and see the real them, you may be compatible with the prettied up version of them, but the real version may be too different to cope with.

If you are looking for success in the Match Making Trade, and looking to get your soul mate, then the most important thing you should remember is to be true to yourself. It may sound corny and over used, but it is true. As I said above, you should make yourself presentable but never become someone you are not. Accentuate your good traits, do not fabricate them.

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If it's true that even the most convenient of relationships require a good amount of effort to thrive, then long distance relationships must have a slim chance of succeeding; at least that's how the conventional wisdom goes. There are several questions that need to be answered about this type of relationship, and it should also be noted that they don't work for everybody.

1. What are the details of the relationship? In other words, how far apart will you be, how long will you be apart, how often will you see each other, and so on. The more deeply in love the two of you are, the less important you will think these questions are. But the truth is that the more you love each other, the more important it is to understand the impact of the answers. It's a good idea to know as many details ahead of time so you can make a realistic plan.

2. How will you communicate with each other and how often? They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and there is some truth to that. The ability to communicate makes a big difference in the success of long distance relationships. You can use any method that you prefer from handwritten notes sent through the mail to exchanging e-mails; from talking on the telephone to online video chat. You should set up a schedule for when the two of you will talk, and this schedule should not be broken unless both of you agree to it (such as in the case of an emergency). You can also have guidelines about unexpected calls, but these would be optional. Seeing each other in person would also fall under the question of communication.

3. How much do you trust each other? This is often the biggest problems long distance couples face. Perhaps you and your partner have always trusted each other, or maybe you just thought that you did. But now that the possibility of a long distance relationship has entered the picture, you both have some doubts. It's gut check time. You need to make sure that you trust each other completely if there is any hope of things working out.

4. What is your end game? If things simply aren't working as well as you should, then you have two basic choices: you can either end the relationship, or you can end the long distance aspect of it. It's okay to operate from the assumption that things will work out just fine, but it's also a good idea to know when it's time for a change. You or your partner may notice that your feelings start to subside the longer the two of you are apart, and may decide that it's time to move on. On the other hand, your feelings may stay the same, but the long distance is becoming too burdensome. Either way, having a gracious way to handle those situations will make things a lot easier.

As you can see, long distance relationships really can work. They may take more time and effort, but it's worth it if the two of you can stay together while distance separates you.

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For quite some time now, people of all ethnic backgrounds have relied on the old traditional ways as their first path to dating. This is as true of the black dating community as any other ethnic group, but some have wondered if singles in the African-American community have been as quick to embrace the latest in dating technology. History tells us that many tight-knit ethnic groups such as those of Hispanic and African-American background are more reliant on traditions when it comes to meeting and finding a suitable mate for a long-term relationship. That means that meeting other singles who are new to the black dating scene can be difficult, but these days there seems to be more of a push to get some of those whose backgrounds are more tied to tradition in dating to accept the opportunity to use the online medium to enhance their prospects.

There was a time when those of strong ethnic heritage might resist the idea of turning to technology to help their dating efforts, but times and technology have been changing more rapidly than some want to admit. While some in the black dating community may regret the change, others are looking at this as a change for the better.

Let's face it, whether you're new to black dating or not, choosing someone who is compatible with you is something that can be difficult and fraught with potential mistakes. Of course, online dating sites and new technology offering alternatives to black dating singles don't minimize the chance that someone will go wrong. We can say with fair certainty that meeting someone online is not necessarily easier than meeting people offline in the "real world" with really one exception: those who have turned to online technology can at least be sure that the people they meet online are more than likely there because they've faced the same challenges. That point, at least, gives a potential relationship established online a leg up on the all-important "something in common" aspect of a new relationship.

Whether those who are active in the black dating community are turning more to tradition or more toward online dating opportunities, the same rules apply. Find other interested singles who are looking for a solid match, make sure you have things in common, get to know one another a bit before you start to actually date (in the online world, e-mails are a great way to get to know someone), and take care when you begin a new relationship. In all of those ways, the black dating community is exactly the same as any other, but they also have the advantage of having a supportive, tradition-rich history to help lay a solid foundation for their new potential romance. So what is it that you're waiting for?

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If you do not want to have to deal with a jealous girlfriend on Valentines Day, you should seriously consider taking her somewhere out of the ordinary. If you stick with taking her to all your old hunting grounds and you run into other women you used to date you are just asking for trouble.

Make her feel like the special woman she is and take her to a place of her choosing or make it a collaborative effort and decide together where to go to celebrate this special day of love. This is the best way to avoid having a jealous girlfriend on Valentine's Day.

Some say that Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card companies to commercialize love and increase sales. Others say that if you are in love you should find ways to show it every single day, not just one day a year.

That very well may be, but who doesn't know that life gets in the way of such things and that sometimes this one day is the most some of us get to show how we really care and can do something to make that love special?

Some suggestions to make things special for the two of you would be to plan a romantic weekend away or even just get a room with a jacuzzi for a night and spend that night reveling in each other. Fall in love with each other all over again.

Do not forget to include some fun in your weekend away. Depending on where you choose to go, if you live in a cold climate, rent some ice skates and have fun picking each other up off the ice rink floor. There is one place I heard of that has the largest faux ice rink in the world. You skate on the stuff just like it was ice. Pretty cool, huh?

You could hop on a plane and spend the weekend just lying in the sun and drinking tropical drinks. This will take some planning and some extra money.

Just an idea here but who says you couldn't do this at home, too? Send the dog to Grandma's for the weekend and whip up some frozen concoction in the blender and bring the chaise lounges inside. Bathing suits on, tropical drinks in hand, listening to tropical music. Include a nice island style meal of some sort, preferably take out, and you've got it made. The only thing missing is the sand and waves.

Your date will love your creativity and even though it is not perfect, it could just be the most romantic thing she has ever seen. Spruce it up by renting some palm trees and make it real warm in your house, or get a couple of sun lamps to simulate the sunshine, just for a little while.

There are many ways to ensure that you will not have to deal with a jealous girlfriend on Valentines Day all you have to do is use your creativity and imagination to come up with other ideas.

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It would be awesome if every relationship was an ever-loving relationship that was free of trouble. But this is the real world, and real-world problems have a way of happening to all of us. Sadly, many relationships end in a breakup. However, now that some time has passed, you find that you are telling yourself "I'm in love but my ex isn't."

This is not a fun situation to be in. You still have good feelings for your ex, and it hurts to be reminded that they are no longer in love with you. Even though that may be the case, you still hold out hope that the two of you will be together again. It's enough to make anybody confused, but don't worry, there are some proven methods to help you get through this difficult time.

The first thing you need to do is find out if your ex truly has no feelings for you anymore. A lot of times we will make assumptions about how other people feel, and those assumptions are often incorrect. For example, just because your ex isn't calling you doesn't mean that they don't care about you; it just means that they aren't calling you. Perhaps they have lost their feelings for you, perhaps they are afraid to talk to you, or perhaps they think you're the one who is not in love with them. Whatever the case may be, you need to find out for sure before you proceed.

If you find out that they still have romantic feelings for you, even if they are a faint remnant of what you once had, then you can move forward by trying to work things out. Be sure to take small steps. If you move too quickly, or if you are too bold, then you run the risk of pushing your ex further away. When trying to get back together, be sure that you are honest, polite, and respectful; this is the kind of attitude that will tip the balance in your favor.

Of course there is always a chance that your ex doesn't love you at all anymore. If this is the case, then you will have to start getting over them and living your life. Your friends will probably tell you to forget about your ex, but that's not realistic advice. Besides, why should you forget the good times you shared with someone who was special to you at the time? No, forgetting is not the answer. What you really need is a healthy perspective.

It can be oddly comforting to fantasize about how perfect things could be, if only your ex would love you again. However, daydreaming doesn't get things done. You need to take action and find out for sure how they feel. Once you do that, then you can take the next steps, depending on what you discover. It may not be easy, but having closure, for better or worse, is the only way that you can get a satisfactory response to "I'm in love but my ex isn't."

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