Your Relationships Are Affected By Not Having the Right Mindset


Having the wrong mindset can definitely affect all of your relationships in a negative way, including the one with yourself.  If you allow yourself to have limiting beliefs of I am not enough, or they will not like me once they get to know me…you will become needy and a taker.  Gradually, this will become your reality and that other person will not want to be around you. 

It’s not that you intend to be that way, but if you are not filling yourself up with all the goodies, as I call them…you won’t be able to give and share.  There will always be this empty place inside of you. Healthy relationships are a place that we go to give and share, and without the right mindset your relationship will definitely suffer.

When we fill ourselves up with love, honor, trust, respect, joy, happiness, self-esteem and forgiveness we are able to give and share of ourselves with others…our relationships have a much better chance at thriving.  Two of the biggest fears of human beings are that we are not good enough and that we won’t be loved. 

By continually stacking reasons why you are more than enough and why you are loved it helps when that little voice of self-doubt tries to take over. If you are continually stacking positive things they will outweigh the negative ones. Soon, you won’t be able to hear that little negative voice anymore. Your mindset has become more positive you won’t be having those limiting beliefs that you are not good enough.

Tips on Having the Right Mindset:

Don’t Presume:

The next time someone does or says something that upsets you or you are not sure where they are coming from, do not presume that it is directed towards you. Much of the time it is not about you at all, it is usually about the other person trying to work through some things in their own life. Instead, attach 2 or 3 positive meanings to what it might be.

Here’s an example, if you were in a relationship and that person was not dependable and you always had to check on things that you depended on them for and now you are in a new relationship and they are very dependable, then one day they happen to forget something and you start presuming that they are starting to do what that other person use to do, and you start jumping all over them, that night is not going to be a very good one.

If you choose to stay in the present and remain calm and by attaching the positive reasons what it could be, and focus on everything being fabulous…chances are it will be. What we put out comes back to us. If you continually jump to conclusions that are not exactly true, that person sooner or later is not going to relate to you. Then the relationship is over.

Live In The Present:

By living in the present, you are not dwelling the past and you are not just focused on the future. There are people who are so stuck in the past and just exist, they do not know how to move forward and grow.  On the other hand, there are people who live only for the future and they have their lives completely planned out. 

It is okay to take the lessons we have learned from the past and use them in the present to help you grow even more so.  You may choose to model your behavior in the past that got you the results you desire. The rest of the past that no longer serves you should be released.  As for the future, it is a great thing to have a plan for your business or plans for things you have been wanting to accomplish, etc., but don’t plan everything little detail in your life.

When you are living in the present, the universe has a way of allowing everything to just fall into place how it is meant to be.  You will make decisions based on the present, allowing the universe to give you what you really need .

By living in the present, it helps you to have a positive mindset because you aren’t bringing into your life all of the negative things from your past into your thinking.  You are living each moment with what is right in front of you.  The decisions you need to make will become clear and will be better and easier to make.  They will be the right choices for you and for where you are in are in your journey we call “Life”.

Stay In the Present:

A lot of people try to live in the Now, but all of a sudden something in the past triggers a limiting belief and here they are again…stuck in the past. One of the best ways of staying in the present is through meditation.  It helps you to clear all the clutter in your mind and to be aware of where you are at this very moment.  Meditation helps keeps you centered and brings peace into your life.

Writing in your journal is very important. By doing this every morning it allows you to get clear on how you want your day to go.  It keeps you in the present and you can write out exactly how you see your day! I suggest that my clients think of a word that they want to their day to be and make that their focus.

If you want a day of abundance, then you not only need to take the needed action to make that happen, but you will also need to feed your subconscious thoughts of abundance and ones that are telling your subconscious that you are already living in abundance.

By allowing yourself to just ‘Be’ throughout the day, it helps you to stay in the present.  As entrepreneurs, we get very busy working on the computer, dealing with your clients, etc. and it is very easy to get consumed by our work loads and before you know it your day has passed by.  By taking little moments to just ‘Be’ at different times during your day it keeps you where you need to be in your mindset.

Being Grateful:

Be grateful for what you have right now and where you are in your life at this very moment.  You may have an old laptop that you are trying to run your business off of, but if you are grateful for it, a new one will come to you. Something I am learning to master is to be grateful for the experiences and lessons I have learned from challenging times.  When you can do this, your life starts to get better and extraordinary things begin to happen.  Being grateful puts your body, mind and thoughts in a better place which naturally gives you a more positive mindset.

Take some time to get clear on what you want in your life and in your relationships. Write out what you really want and then focus on it.  Get into the feeling on how you want your life to be, and how having that will make you feel. Hold onto that feeling and when that voice of self-doubt appears and wants to convince you otherwise, you will be more equipped to not listen to it. Every morning take some time to read something that inspires or motivates you. This will naturally give you the positive boost to start your day. By reading just a page or two, it can make such a difference in your daily life and keep you in the right mindset.

When you are continually living in the present and taking control of your mindset, you will start to have a more successful and balanced life. The main components of your life will all be in harmony with each other.  You can’t expect to have Amazing relationships if are not where you need to be inside. Your very core will be at peace and everything in your life will start to flow like it is supposed to be. You will find just how Extraordinary your life will become. I believe in you and all that you are meant to BE!

For more tips on how to make your relationships even more Amazing as well as having the right mindset to not only grow yourself, your relationships and your business, please join me on my Facebook Business Page where I share tips daily…SusanCanHelpMeToday. Thanks, I look forward to connecting with you there.






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How To Have And Maintain A Healthy Relationship



We go to relationships to give and share. It is so exciting in the beginning, then all of a sudden that giving and sharing has been compromised. Now it seems that one or even both of you have become needy and are now taking instead of giving.

It is not that either one of you mean to do that, but when we don’t take the time to fill ourselves up consistently with love, honor, trust, self-esteem, respect, worthiness, joy and happiness, etc. that is what usually happens. You see if we aren’t doing this, then eventually we will start feeling drained and empty. That is where the neediness and being a taker comes in. It is only human nature.

Building a relationship with a partner that resonates well with you is exciting and
life-enhancing as the two of you look forward to a happy life together. You might
even discuss hopes and dreams for the future. So how do you ensure that you get to
keep this wonderful experience you’re building together?

Tips On How To Have And Maintain A Healthy Relationship:

Communication Skills:

Healthy relationships exhibit excellent communication skills. It is so vital that you each listen to one another attentively. By doing so, you will both feel in that very moment that you are a priority in each others lives instead of an option. Look at one another and give eye contact during your conversations. Let your partner talk while you listen and they should do the same for you. It is so important to take turns talking and listening.

Enjoy Life:

Find things that you both enjoy doing together! It is so important to enjoy life together. Bring laughter and lots of smiles into your relationship. Do things that make each others lives easier so that you can have more time to spend having fun together.

Watch a funny movie together and snuggle on the couch while you are watching it. Make it a date night. The more that you can enjoy each other and your life together, the easier it will be when you are faced with a challenging time.

Show Affection To Each Other:

Get comfortable showing your love with one another. You might slip your
hand into your partner’s hand spontaneously when you are taking a walk.
At a party, chat with others together or “separate” briefly to take part in conversations with others. But eventually, gravitate back to your partner to see how they are doing. Maybe touch them on the back so that they know you are there.

Give hugs often, especially when one of you leaves the house or returns home. By showing your affection to each other, your intimacy will grow even more so. It’s not all about what happens in the bedroom, it is the day to day affection that keeps the passion going.

Disagree In A Respectful Way:

Never yell at each other, but rather use a moderated voice volume and tone. In a
relationship, there’s bound to be an occasional disagreement or misunderstanding. How these are handled makes all the difference.  It is okay to disagree, but it is how you do it that really matters. Learn to compromise.


When necessary, if one partner did something to upset the other one, it is necessary that they apologize. In a healthy relationship, partners are honest with themselves and each other regarding mistakes they make.

By apologizing you are admitting that you were wrong and that helps to demonstrates to your partner that they are a significant part of your life and that their feelings do mean something to you.


It is so important show genuine respect for one another. By doing so, it sends out a very powerful ongoing messages to one another of “I cherish you” and “You are special to me.”


People in healthy relationships put forth a lot of effort to figure out this process and, ultimately, earn and give trust. It does take time to earn someone’s trust so if your relationship is just starting out don’t force it either way but just let it naturally happen. It is so vital not to lose your partner’s trust as it is hard to get it back and in some cases you might not be able to and thus the relationship will eventually end.

Stay In Tune With Each Other:

It is so important to consistently stay in tune with each other. Let them know how much they mean to you and just how much you appreciate them! If your partner says or does something to upset you and you can’t ask them right then and there as to what they meant, attach 2 or 3 positive things that it could be. Don’t assume but rather when you get a chance, ask them about it in a calm and loving way. You will probably find that it wasn’t about you at all but rather a challenge that they might have been dealing with internally.

Have A Shared Social Life:

Make it a point to go out and have fun as a couple with friends that you both resonate with. Family events are fun and great, as well. It is also important to have dates just the two of you,  as it solidifies the partnership and helps you to stay intimately connected. It is a good thing to go out with your friends individually at times, as well.


It is so important that you and your partner have a solid sense of independence and a strong sense of who you are. By doing this, neither one of you will become needy and a taker.  Even though you have each other, each of you needs to understand that you are still an individual and that you need to be your own support system. This way, whatever support that you give to each other will only enhance what you both have already given to yourselves.

If you are expecting your partner to fill your every need that you have, you will most likely be disappointed and vice versa. We have to give to ourselves not only what we want to give, but what we are wanting to receive.

I hope that these tips will help you to develop a healthy, long-lasting relationship. As you can see, building and maintaining a healthy relationship takes ongoing work, but the
effort will pay off by bringing you many joys. I would love to connect with you on my Facebook Fan Page where I give tips on how to grow not only yourself but your relationships and business: Susan Can Help Me Today.  You deserve to have the everything that you truly desire! Remember, you are Amazing! I am rooting for you!


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How To Use Social Media To Relate To Your Partner


Just about everybody uses some kind of social media platform these days. The newest site is Pinterest and I am  loving it. Pinterest is all about pictures to connecting with others by expressing your interests and showing your personality in a visual form. I was just finishing on Pinterest when it occurred to me, what if we spent even half as much time on relating with our partners, as we do with our friends, potential clients and clients…can you imagine how much better our relationships would be?

Five Steps to use Social Media to Relate to Your Partner:

Be Genuine:

It is so important to be yourself in your relationship. Don’t try to be something with your partner that you are not. It will never work and you will only be putting a strain your relationship that will turn to resentment later on.  Embrace who you are and bring the “Best” you to your relationship, they will believe or not, respect you even more.

Pay Attention:

You need to pay attention to your partner, like you do with others on facebook, etc. Don’t interrupt them, don’t pass judgment, don’t make it all about you…Make it about them! Really listen attentively, to what they are saying…not what you think they are saying. Pause and reflect on what you are hearing so that you really understand and are connecting with your partner.

Be Involved:

When they are done speaking, engage with them. Talk to them about what it is they are doing.  What are their goals with social media? Is it just to be online and  meet people, make connections, share their knowledge or perhaps to do those things while building their business?  Get involved in what it is they are doing. Give your input and ideas in a kind and compassionate way.

Give Freely:

Devote yourself to your partner …give them your undivided time and your attention. Do it whole-heartedly and make them feel that they are special, appreciated and that you value them. Let them know through your actions…they are significant in your life. Don’t  expect something in return.


Share yourself and how your day went with your partner just like you do on your social networks.  Ask them how their day was and what can you do to help make their day better if they haven’t had a good one. Also, share with them your knowledge and wisdom that may help them with something that they may be having a challenge with.

If they are just new to social media, you might want to share some of your ideas and experiences you have had.   Don’t try to minimize what it is they may or may not know about social media.  Offer to assist them in anyway that you can.

If they are just starting to get their business out on social media, perhaps you might want to set a date night to help them with it. The more that they understand what it is that fascinates you to spend a lot of time on your social networks, the more they may be willing to help you with the kids, etc. when you are trying to play catch up, so that you can enjoy some one on one time with them later on.

These are five things that most of us do everyday very naturally, when using social media. You will be amazed at the wonderful results and connection that you will have when applying them to your relationship with your partner. Let it become a natural part of your everyday lives. Mix it up and stir some fun in along the way. Private message them on facebook and ask them how their day was. Text them words of encouragement, etc. Let them that you are thinking about them.

I would love to hear your comment below what other ways do you use to stay connected with your partner, thanks!


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Being All That You Want Your Partner To Be




Have you ever taken the time to really think and decide everything that you want your partner to be? What it is you really want? Need? Your absolute ‘MUST HAVES.’  Ask yourself,  “Am I being all that I want my partner to be?” If you haven’t…take some time to do so now. What exactly are you looking for? What do you need and what are you willing to give? If you are looking for affection, honesty, compassion, support, etc.…ask yourself this, “Am I being affectionate, honest, compassionate and supportive?”

It is important to become your own ‘MUST HAVES.’ If you are looking to have that partner who is supportive, but you are not, then you need to make sure you want it enough to be that yourself. By being more supportive, your partner will appreciate the support.

Take some time to sit down with your partner and discuss your ‘MUST HAVES.’  Let them know you are willing to be more of those things in your ‘MUST HAVES’ as well as theirs, because you understand they need them as well.  When was the last time, you jumped in to help your partner get something done, showing them support in what they are doing? Take some time to slow down with what you are doing to let them know and show them that they are significant part of your life and that you are there for them.  By being even more supportive, they will start to model your behavior and as a result will most likely start to support you even more so.

Also, when you are sitting down with your partner going over your ‘MUST HAVES’ make sure you find out what theirs are. Be open and willing to listen to what theirs are. Find out if you are meeting those and if need be, ask them to coach you in an area that you might need help with. Perhaps, you can even help coach each other.  Make it a team effort!

It’s not about becoming someone that you are not, but about becoming the best ‘YOU’ possible and bringing that into your relationship. If you are both working on becoming your own ‘MUST HAVES’ as  well as each others, your relationship will become much richer and the rewards that come with that are priceless.

For those of you, who are looking to have a relationship, make sure that you get really clear on what you want. Write your ‘MUST HAVES’ down on a piece of paper. Go over them and work on being those things yourself.  Get clear on your absolute ‘MUST HAVES’ and the qualities you want your potential partner to have or else you may end up in a relationship with someone like the person you might have just left.

By getting clear on what you do want, you will know early on in a relationship if there are any deal breakers. For example, if you want have to have a baby more then anything and your partner can’t or does not want to, you can decide early on if there is any room for compromise or other solutions before you take your relationship to that next Exciting level and the stars and rockets go shooting off.  When you start to become more of your ‘Must Haves,’ you will most likely attract a potential partner with  a lot of them, as like attracts like.

In order to have that balance in every area of your life, it is important you have connected with yourself as well as your partner and stay connected. When your relationships are thriving, you will find that the other areas in your life start to as well.  Life is meant to be absolutely Extraordinary!

If you are having challenges in your relationship I would love to help. Please click on “Free Consultation” and just follow the simple instruction. I will be more then happy to give you a free 30 minute consultation. You are AMAZING and I believe in YOU!!!


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How To Embrace And Love Who You Really Are

Most of us, when asked, “Do you love yourself,” will quickly respond, “Of course, I do!” But do you really?  You see,we go to relationships to give and share and in order to be able to do so, we must giving to ourselves everything that would we like to give to others.  We must continually fill ourselves up with goodies, as I call them; love, joy, happiness, trust, honor, self-esteem, worthiness, and a BIGGIE is forgiveness!  You see, if you continually try to give and share and you are not filling yourself up with these on a regular basis, you will feel very empty and drained.

In order for you to take your relationship with your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse, etc., to that next Amazing level, you will need to embrace and love who really are.  By learning to love yourself unconditionally, you are then able to love them on a much deeper level.  The same goes for when you can truly forgive yourself, you are then able to forgive him or her much easier.

Steps On How To Love Yourself Unconditionally:

* Look at yourself in the eyes in the mirror

* As you continue to do so, tell yourself out loud, “I love you very much [your 1st Name],
   you are perfect just the way that you are

* As you are still in front of the mirror, tell yourself that you are forgiven

* Give yourself a heartfelt compliment

* Take at least 15 minutes a day to just let yourself ‘Be’ to fill yourself up with
those goodies

* At the end of each day go over the successes that you had, even the smallest of ones

* Do these on a daily basis

I know that a lot of us were brought up that if we said we loved ourselves or gave ourselves praise that we would be considered vain, but that is a limiting belief and one that no longer serves any purpose and  more then likely never did.

The amazing thing is that the more that you take these steps to love yourself unconditionally, the more your relationship will grow and so will everything else in your life.  By continually doing so, you will find you will start to treat yourself more like a priority instead of an option.  You will then have the energy to start treating or partner as a priority, as well as without resenting them.  When we put others in front of ourselves on a regular basis, we can’t help but start to resent them.  Also, you are now teaching others how to treat you in the right way.

By being able to forgive yourself, you can now go to your relationship and forgive much easier and deeper. Most of us have had a hard time forgiving ourselves. Ask yourself this, “Did you do the very best at that time that you did or didn’t do something given the knowledge that you had at that time?” Most of the time the answer is YES! If however, you made a decision that you knowingly made that you knew was wrong ask yourself, “Have I learned from that and am I still doing whatever it is?” I am sure the answer to the first part of this question is Yes and the second part is No. There, now don’t you feel better?

Remember this, you are absolutely Amazing and deserve the very best that life has to offer. But first you need to give to yourself everything that you can and the rest will come. Embrace and love who you really are and tap into your true Magnificence and really SHINE…the world is waiting for you!


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