Your Relationships Are Affected By Not Having the Right Mindset
© Susan Preston, http://flirtingwithfitness.com
All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Having the wrong mindset can definitely affect all of your relationships in a negative way, including the one with yourself. If you allow yourself to have limiting beliefs of I am not enough, or they will not like me once they get to know me…you will become needy and a taker. Gradually, this will become your reality and that other person will not want to be around you.
It’s not that you intend to be that way, but if you are not filling yourself up with all the goodies, as I call them…you won’t be able to give and share. There will always be this empty place inside of you. Healthy relationships are a place that we go to give and share, and without the right mindset your relationship will definitely suffer.
When we fill ourselves up with love, honor, trust, respect, joy, happiness, self-esteem and forgiveness we are able to give and share of ourselves with others…our relationships have a much better chance at thriving. Two of the biggest fears of human beings are that we are not good enough and that we won’t be loved.
By continually stacking reasons why you are more than enough and why you are loved it helps when that little voice of self-doubt tries to take over. If you are continually stacking positive things they will outweigh the negative ones. Soon, you won’t be able to hear that little negative voice anymore. Your mindset has become more positive you won’t be having those limiting beliefs that you are not good enough.
Tips on Having the Right Mindset:
Don’t Presume:
The next time someone does or says something that upsets you or you are not sure where they are coming from, do not presume that it is directed towards you. Much of the time it is not about you at all, it is usually about the other person trying to work through some things in their own life. Instead, attach 2 or 3 positive meanings to what it might be.
Here’s an example, if you were in a relationship and that person was not dependable and you always had to check on things that you depended on them for and now you are in a new relationship and they are very dependable, then one day they happen to forget something and you start presuming that they are starting to do what that other person use to do, and you start jumping all over them, that night is not going to be a very good one.
If you choose to stay in the present and remain calm and by attaching the positive reasons what it could be, and focus on everything being fabulous…chances are it will be. What we put out comes back to us. If you continually jump to conclusions that are not exactly true, that person sooner or later is not going to relate to you. Then the relationship is over.
Live In The Present:
By living in the present, you are not dwelling the past and you are not just focused on the future. There are people who are so stuck in the past and just exist, they do not know how to move forward and grow. On the other hand, there are people who live only for the future and they have their lives completely planned out.
It is okay to take the lessons we have learned from the past and use them in the present to help you grow even more so. You may choose to model your behavior in the past that got you the results you desire. The rest of the past that no longer serves you should be released. As for the future, it is a great thing to have a plan for your business or plans for things you have been wanting to accomplish, etc., but don’t plan everything little detail in your life.
When you are living in the present, the universe has a way of allowing everything to just fall into place how it is meant to be. You will make decisions based on the present, allowing the universe to give you what you really need .
By living in the present, it helps you to have a positive mindset because you aren’t bringing into your life all of the negative things from your past into your thinking. You are living each moment with what is right in front of you. The decisions you need to make will become clear and will be better and easier to make. They will be the right choices for you and for where you are in are in your journey we call “Life”.
Stay In the Present:
A lot of people try to live in the Now, but all of a sudden something in the past triggers a limiting belief and here they are again…stuck in the past. One of the best ways of staying in the present is through meditation. It helps you to clear all the clutter in your mind and to be aware of where you are at this very moment. Meditation helps keeps you centered and brings peace into your life.
Writing in your journal is very important. By doing this every morning it allows you to get clear on how you want your day to go. It keeps you in the present and you can write out exactly how you see your day! I suggest that my clients think of a word that they want to their day to be and make that their focus.
If you want a day of abundance, then you not only need to take the needed action to make that happen, but you will also need to feed your subconscious thoughts of abundance and ones that are telling your subconscious that you are already living in abundance.
By allowing yourself to just ‘Be’ throughout the day, it helps you to stay in the present. As entrepreneurs, we get very busy working on the computer, dealing with your clients, etc. and it is very easy to get consumed by our work loads and before you know it your day has passed by. By taking little moments to just ‘Be’ at different times during your day it keeps you where you need to be in your mindset.
Being Grateful:
Be grateful for what you have right now and where you are in your life at this very moment. You may have an old laptop that you are trying to run your business off of, but if you are grateful for it, a new one will come to you. Something I am learning to master is to be grateful for the experiences and lessons I have learned from challenging times. When you can do this, your life starts to get better and extraordinary things begin to happen. Being grateful puts your body, mind and thoughts in a better place which naturally gives you a more positive mindset.
Take some time to get clear on what you want in your life and in your relationships. Write out what you really want and then focus on it. Get into the feeling on how you want your life to be, and how having that will make you feel. Hold onto that feeling and when that voice of self-doubt appears and wants to convince you otherwise, you will be more equipped to not listen to it. Every morning take some time to read something that inspires or motivates you. This will naturally give you the positive boost to start your day. By reading just a page or two, it can make such a difference in your daily life and keep you in the right mindset.
When you are continually living in the present and taking control of your mindset, you will start to have a more successful and balanced life. The main components of your life will all be in harmony with each other. You can’t expect to have Amazing relationships if are not where you need to be inside. Your very core will be at peace and everything in your life will start to flow like it is supposed to be. You will find just how Extraordinary your life will become. I believe in you and all that you are meant to BE!
For more tips on how to make your relationships even more Amazing as well as having the right mindset to not only grow yourself, your relationships and your business, please join me on my Facebook Business Page where I share tips daily…SusanCanHelpMeToday. Thanks, I look forward to connecting with you there.
Is your mindset keeping you from growing your business? If you would like more help with this or if you are having challenges in any of your relationships, Susan would love to help. Click on 
Great post Susan! It’s so true that staying in the present moment and remaining grateful at all times is such a great boost to mindset and success! What you said there about don’t presume is so true! I often say to people – ‘it’s not all about you ;). Thanks for a great article!!
Moira Hutchison recently posted..A Time to Rest, A Time to Heal
You’re so welcome, Moira! Yes, a lot of people presume it is about them ,but in reality it really isn’t. Thanks! Have a Fabulous weekend
Well put, Susan! Some days it is soooo tough to be ‘in the present’ because baggage has not only followed us, but dug in. Each time it happens to me, I’ll do my best to remember that ‘now’ is a cleared-scoreboard judgement-free zone. : )
Thanks, Steve! I liked when you wrote, ” I’ll do my best to remember that ‘now’ is a cleared-scoreboard judgement-free zone.” It’s so true and a great way to look at it.
It all starts with the thoughts that we hold in our minds, doesn’t it? My favorite tip (they are all good) is don’t presume. Quite often we imagine that the person means something when their intent is actually different. Asking what they mean really can get to the root of the matter. Great tips and post, Susan! I am grateful for and appreciate you!! : D
Sherie recently posted..How to Stop Worrying
Thanks, Sherie! It absolutely does start with the thoughts that we hold in our minds, for sure. I appreciate you very much, my beautiful friend!
Wonderful post, Susan! I loved “When you are continually living in the present and taking control of your mindset, you will start to have a more successful and balanced life.” This is so very true. Living in the present clears away a cluttered mind from guilt and worry. It allows you to have authentic relationships and connect at a deeper level.
Lisa Birnesser recently posted..Stress and Job Security: How to Deal with a Job Loss- Part Two
Thank you, Lisa! I so agree with you when you wrote, “Living in the present clears away a cluttered mind from guilt and worry. It allows you to have authentic relationships and connect at a deeper level.”
This such an important topic. Understanding the power of our thoughts is the foundation of our reality…in all parts of our lives. We so often fall to the negative and cause ourselves so much pain. Great article! Thanks!
denny hagel recently posted..School’s back! 3 Key Strategies You Need to Be an Asset in Your Child’s Education
You’re so welcome, Denny! Thanks for sharing your Great words of Wisdom! I totally agree 😉
Great tips Susan! So true living and staying in the present is so important. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Vicky! Absolutely, living and staying in the present is so very important! Have a Fabulous week
When we have negative thoughts about ourselves we act on them and view the world around us as having the same thoughts about us. This confirms to us what we think we know. Doing the reverse works the same. Go for it. Think good thoughts and so will others!
Great post!
Suzanne Jones recently posted..Trusting Yourself..How To Stay Out Of Depression And Into Reality
Thanks, Suzanne! I appreciate you sharing your great words of wisdom, very true! What we put out definitely comes back to us one way or another.
“Do not presume.” That is the most important!!!
Mandy Edwards recently posted..Social Media Q&A, Episode 6: How Make a Blog More Interesting
Absolutely, Mandy! When we presume it just adds a lot of unnecessary drama, that none of us want. Thanks
I like the part about “don’t presume”. It’s a mistake in more ways than one! Thanks for the post Susan.
So true, Sara! Thanks
Even though I’ve seen, learned, and applied many of these concepts, it definitely requires consistency. The mind is a tricky thing, and I’ve come to realize just how important it plays a role in our lives. Like you mentioned, meditation is one of the things that helps with living in the NOW. I’ve found that this concept alone has helped me in more ways than one as you mentioned in the article!
Edmund Lee recently posted..Intro: How to Add Followers on Twitter
I agree with you, Edmund…meditation helps me so much to get clear and stay in the now! Thanks, my friend
Excellent information. Mindset is crucial in all areas of life. Thanks Susan.
Absolutely, sweet Carol. Thanks, I appreciate you
Great post! These things have such a huge impact and people need to have an awareness about them – thank you!
Thanks,, Kerry! I sooooooo agree with you! Have an Amazing week
Yes, do not presume. I truly believe that our relationship is damaged when we keep looking at the past. I like it that we don’t have to do that. Our relationship flourishes when both sides look to the future for new things to happen
Olga Hermans recently posted..Your Words Will Direct Your Life
Absolutely, Olga! You are spot on when you wrote, “Our relationships flourishes when both sides look to the future for new things to happen.” Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Interesting article Susan. So few people live in the present.
Lyn Tuckwell recently posted..Fun with fonts and typefaces.
Thanks, Lyn! I agree, there definitely is not as many who live in the present. It is so important to live in the NOW!
We hear the mantra of “live in the present” to the point that we feel guilty if we’re reflecting back on the past or looking to tomorrow. But here’s my question: are we not supposed to learn from the past and use our future visions to motivate ourselves to grow and change? 😉
Sharon O’Day recently posted..Anatomy of the New Entrepreneur
Great question, Sharon! I would say Yes to, “Are we not supposed to learn from the past and use our future visions to motivate ourselves to grow and change?” But I would add that as we live in the present and there are things that you may have done in the past that you learned from, that knowledge can be used to help you to make a better decision. It is when we go back and stay stuck in the past and we make a decision based on what may have happened, but in fact that is not what is really going on right now, is when it is not a good thing.
As for the 2nd part of the question it is important to use our future visions to motivate ourselves to grow and change. But it is when someone is so caught up in planning the future that they are not living in the present that is not a good thing. By living in the Now, it is having that balance between taking the golden nuggets that we have learned from the past along with envisioning greater things in our future. Thanks
YES, Yes, yes!!!
Mindset is huge when it comes to relationships. In the end, with any relationship, we all need to open our minds, and just listen. Try to understand where the other person is coming from even if we wouldn’t necessarily react the same way, or do the same things. So important to stop and just listen, not warrant advice if it’s not asked for, and just be present.
Loved this!
Jamie recently posted..The California Strawberry Commission and Giveway ends 09/04!
Thanks, Jamie! I especially loved when you wrote, “So important to stop and just listen, not warrant advice if it’s not asked for, and just be present.” It is so important at times to just know that someone is truly listening to us and it is not always necessary for them to say anything unless asked.
Great insight Susan and being consistent is the key to everything
Anita recently posted..Women’s Business Leadership and The Wealthy Mindset
Thanks, Anita! Yes, being consistent is the key to everything, for sure!
Such good advice, as always. Mindset and attitude make such a difference. Projecting is probably one of the more damaging things we can do in any relationship. It’s important to recognize these things and learn to change them.
Marie Leslie recently posted..Eight Things You Need to Know about Copyright
Thanks, Marie. I agree, “Projecting is probably one of the more damaging things we can do in any relationship. It’s important to recognize these things and learn to change them.” Those are great words of wisdom!
This is such a great advice, Susan. Especially, about how we often presume, without facts. It is so natural to us just relate to our past relationships and carry on our behavior to the next one. I’ve done this myself too. Love your articles. Thank you!
Solvita recently posted..How Do I Find Inner Peace When Working With PROBLEMS
Thank you so much, Solvita! Yes, it is amazing how we often presume without the facts. That is why it is so vital to attach 2 or 3 positive meanings as to what else could it mean. I appreciate your ongoing love and support, it means the world to me.
I am trying to master this kind of mindset, I am a thinker and a worrier, I tried to focus in the now rather than viewing the past or future. I often meditate, this is now part of my morning routine. It helps me to get a clear mind and stay in the present and “Don’t pressume”, Thank you for sharing
You’re welcome, Maria. That is great that you use meditation as part of your morning routine. It really makes a big difference in how your day goes. Thanks
Great tips, thank you Susan! When I read the tip about not presuming it reminded me of something I heard years ago: when you ASSume, you are making an ass of yourself!
I giggled when I read your last line, as my mother use to say something similar to us. “When you assume you make an a** out of you and me.” Thanks 😉
Great post Susan. One sticks out to me is “Stay In The Moment”. So important!
Susan Myers recently posted..Focus-6 Ways For More Productivity
Thanks, Susan. Yes, ‘Staying in the Moment’ is so important.
Great post Susan! I agree with what you say about staying in the present and being grateful for what is right now. It’s very easy to get stuck in the past, and bring that past baggage to new relationships. Words or actions can set you back, and you might not even realize that you are projecting past hurts onto present relationships.
Helena Bowers recently posted..How Cool Is Your Content?
Thanks, Helena! I totally agree with you when you wrote, “Words or actions can set you back, and you might not even realize that you are projecting past hurts onto present relationships.” They can be triggers, but when we get rid of our limiting beliefs of something that we believed from the past or are hanging onto something that no longer serves us, that is when there is usually nothing that can be a trigger.
There are good triggers, too. I have recently have experienced a shift in my belief in myself that has exploded my business! Did I let go of some past limiting belief? Did I forgive myself? I have no idea. I just know that some trigger set off something really great in my life and business. I am guessing that it has been the answer to many prayers and the favor of God.
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