Turning your Relationships from Ordinary into Extraordinary
© Susan Preston, http://flirtingwithfitness.com
All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Anyone can have a relationship but it doesn’t mean it is a good relationship. Extraordinary relationships come through understanding, hard work, trust, compromise and the dedication to building them every day.
Relationships are hard. You can’t just assume that they are always going to be just as they once were. Nothing ever is. We are constantly evolving; therefore our relationships do as well. The saying “You reap what you sow” is exactly right. What you put into your relationship is what you are going to receive from it in return.
Dating and marriage is very different then it was years ago but the work and commitment are the same. If you want it to be great you have to do the work. You have to nurture it daily. Take pride and be truly committed to it. There will be struggles, disagreements and hardships, but if your heart is true and you are clear on what it is you want in your relationship the possibility to make it extraordinary is endless.
We live in an age where so many relationships do not last. Partly because people give up and the other part is people are not really clear on what it is they need to be and to give in order to make their relationship successful. But there are those relationships I am sure we have all seen that are truly extraordinary. It wasn’t because luck made it so for these people. It was because they made the conscious effort when they began to do what it took to make their relationship a priority and turn it into extraordinary.
There are many things you can do to build, strengthen and enhance your relationship. Just be open to doing the work and seeing all of the the possibilities.
Small daily steps can turn your relationship into a lasting, fulfilling and truly amazing experience. Turning it into the extraordinary relationship you have always desired.
1. Things Change
When you first enter into a relationship, things are new, fresh, exciting. It’s a new adventure but then daily life begins to happen. Jobs, finances, children, family all come into play and the newness begins to fade. The little things your partner once did that never seemed to bother you now drive you crazy. It is important to sit down with your partner and talk, remembering why you were attracted in the first place. Those things that once didn’t nag you but now do, are they really that important? Perhaps they are still those petty things but with everyday stresses they appear much bigger. Let them go again and focus on what you did that attracted your partner in the beginning. Relive those moments, flirt, write that love note and place in their pocket or purse. Change is inevitable so why not make it a change for the better?
2. Spend Time Together
Having time together as adults is vital to a lasting relationship. Set aside a date night, whether you go with friends, a movie or a quiet dinner. Take that time to just “Be” together. No talking about bills, family or chores that needs to be done. Instead talk about your future together, your hopes and dreams and how together you can make them happen. Hold hands, look into each other’s eyes and express your appreciation for their time and love they are giving to you.
3. Wow your Partner
We get so busy in our lives we forget the details. When you plan you special time together, remember the details are just as important. Don’t just throw on something you normally wear. Wow, you partner with that outfit in your closet you rarely wear. Get that haircut you have been needing and act as though it’s you first date. You wouldn’t go out looking scruffy on your first date and your partner deserves the best of you now also. Show them you were thinking about them as you got ready. If you know of something your partner loves to do but rarely has the opportunity to do surprise them. When it’s your time together, let them know you have a surprise instead. You are still going to spend time together but that you decided to treat them to something extra special this time. Just for them. Maybe it’s a game or a concert, whatever it may be just choose to WOW them.
4. The Power of your Words and Touch
A loving touch and kind words can do so much for anyone. Affection is something we all need to give and to receive. It is human nature and no one can live without it. Touching your partners hand, kissing them affectionately on the neck, a gentle pat on the leg shows them they are cared for, appreciated and needed. Whisper, “I love you” to them, tell them they are handsome or beautiful. Watch how they light up. You words and touch are two very powerful tools, use them!
5. Allow Room
Just as you need to spend time with your partner you need to allow them room also. We all have things we like that our partners may not enjoy. That’s ok. It makes us who we are. Being a couple does not mean you have to do everything together or like exactly all the same things. We all need time to ourselves, to just “BE” for a little while and find our inner peace. We when give to ourselves we are able to give to others. Allow your partner room to go shopping or fishing alone. Trust them and respect their alone time. You will be grateful you have and they will appreciate you all the more.
6. Show Interest
Don’t just pretend to be interested in what your partner says or does. Really be interested! When you ask them how their day was or what is happening with work, pay attention. Really hear what they are saying to you. Repeat what you have heard so that you are sure you are understanding and show interest. It isn’t always so much their work that interests you but it’s their life that you care about.
7. Communication
Our lives get so busy that we forget to communicate. We assume to often that the other person knows what we are thinking and feeling. Fact is, they don’t. You have to talk to each other. Let your guard down and know that you can say anything to each other and the other person will respect what you say and how you feel. It doesn’t mean your partner will always agree with you. It means you are willing to really listen and hear your partner. You will work together to find a solution that will benefit you both. Don’t assume or get upset that your partner doesn’t always see or feel what you are feeling. Remember, their life it just as busy as yours and working together as a team is how you become extraordinary together.
Relationships take work. Having the right attitude and commitment can make all of the difference in how successful you relationship really is. Are you ready to turn you ordinary relationship into an extraordinary one?
I would love to connect with you on my Facebook Business Page…https://www.facebook.com/SusanCanHelpMeToday where I post Daily Mindset Tips and a lot more, thank you! I look forward to connecting with you!
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You are so right, Susan! I think relationships take even more work the longer you’re in one. I’ve been with my husband for 36 years this past May and it’s different today than it was even a year ago.
Becky Fisher (@SimpleAndSane) recently posted..How to Group Klout and FINISH in ONE Day!
Thanks, Becky! Congrats, that sounds like an Amazing journey! It is so important to realize that your relationship is going to change and to embrace it like you are.
Great words Susan, very helpful on so many levels. Thanks
Thanks, Elizabeth! Have an Amazing week
Susan, you are such an encourager. Communication is so important; we take time for each other during the weekends as a family and on Monday evening it is time to share how everything is going and then we pray about everything; it has changed our life dramatically!
Olga Hermans recently posted..Discover the Good Life You Were Born to Live
Thank you for your kind words, Olga! I love the routine your family has, it is so important!
Relationships + right attitude + work +commitment = extraordinary! Love, love, love this post! Those small daily steps that you have outlined do so much for enhancing relationships and making them fabulous. <3
Sherie recently posted..3 Ways of Thinking You Need to Unload from Your Life Now
Thanks, Sherie! “Relationships + right attitude + work +commitment = extraordinary” certainly does! It is when a couple realize that and apply it that their relationship goes to that next Amazing level!
I think the biggest failure trap lies in our expectations of others…we really must have a good relationship with ourselves in order to be a good friend, partner or spouse to anyone else! Great article!
denny hagel recently posted..Hot Topic of the Week: Do You Have a Favorite Child?
So true, Denny! Thanks for sharing your great wisdom and knowledge.
Understanding and trust is probably the basic of all relationships. It takes years to grow one. Sometimes even those who are already together for decades finds surprising things about their partner along the way. It always takes two to tango. This article is a very good guide for everyone.
Thank you, Lorii. I agree with you totally.
This line is so important, “if your heart is true and you are clear on what it is you want in your relationship the possibility to make it extraordinary is endless.” Clarity will lead you into the direction you want no matter what. No matter how things may seem, if your heart is true things work out.
Suzanne Jones recently posted..How To Change The Movie Of Your Life, A Hypnosis Session
I so agree with you Suzanne, clarity is so powerful! Thanks
Great ideas! It’s so easy to get caught up in routines and forget to really pay attention to one another. Valuable reminder!
Thanks, Paige. Yes, “It’s so easy to get caught up in routines and forget to really pay attention to one another.” It’s so important to take that special time together in order to stay connected and grow as a couple.
Love this post, Susan! Communication and trust are so important. Some times it takes years but well worth the results! Thanks for always sharing such great content!
Alexandra McAllister recently posted..See How Simple It Can Be To Build An Online Network Marketing Empire
You are so welcome, Alexandra! Yes, communication and trust are so very important in having and maintaining an Extraordinary Relationship. Thanks
I love this article! We have such a disposables culture. So many relationships fail because many people either don’t realize they need to, or want to work at it. And I SO agree with what Denny Hagel said! Some people fall short and incorrectly buy into that movie line, “You complete me.” You have to come into a relationship as a “complete” person or know who you are, before you can expect to share your life with someone else.
Terree Rola aka The Frugal Foodie recently posted..Award-Winning Big Kahuna Wine Cheaper Than Two Buck Chuck!
I so agree with you both, it is vital that we come into a relationship feeling complete already. We go to relationships to give and share, if we are feeling empty we cannot do so. Thank you
Thanks Susan! I have been married for 41 years and you have reminded me how important it is to keep your relationship fresh!
Patsy recently posted..3 Reasons to Schedule Facebook Posts
Congratulations, Patsy! That is indeed a huge milestone! It is vital that we keep our relationship alive and thriving. Thanks
Great article. Relationships do take alot of work and it is important to always grow together. It takes time, patience, daily work and dedication to each other to make your relastionship a lasting one. Well worth it !
Yes, I agree with you…”It takes time, patience, daily work and dedication to each other to make your relastionship a lasting one. Well worth it!” Thank you
ahh we have been working on making our relationship closer since my return from SocialBoom . My husband and I had let our jobs come between what’s important .. our relationship. It’s easy to get so busy trying to make a living that we forget how much we love each other and that that love has to be tended like all else in our lives ! 😉 thanks for the tips Susan ! I love you!
Elizabeth L Maness recently posted..If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Don’t Say It On Twitter!
I am so happy for you both, sweetie. It is very easy to have that happen. I am so glad that you both realized that and have taken steps to change it. I love you, too! Thank you, beautiful!
Some wonderful suggestions here Susan! I like that you mention time apart to pursue interests as well as time together. Sometimes it’s true that ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’.
Carolyn Hughes recently posted..Guilty.
Thanks, Carolyn. It is so important to take time apart to pursue interests. We have to continually grow ourselves so we can grow our relationships, as well.
Such a great article! Not anything we haven’t heard, but good to see all those ideas in one place! I think it is important to know your spouse’s “love language” and be sure you are loving him in a way that is really important to him, rather than a way that is really important to you. One of the things on this list is bound to be that special way he will really feel loved.
Susan Critelli recently posted..Infernius Norman, Destroyer of Worlds
Thank you, Susan! I agree, “It is important to know your spouse’s “love language” and be sure you are loving him in a way that is really important to him, rather than a way that is really important to you.”
Wonderful post. Relationships do take work, but with the effort comes the reward as well. Great reminder – thank you.
Cathy Taughinbaugh recently posted..Treatment Talk Monthly Message – September 2012
Thanks, Cathy! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my article. Enjoy, your night
Susan, So right you are! I appreciated the reminder that, in conversation, what matters is how you feel about the person – not the topic they’re discussing. It’s an important point to make for those of us who have been together a long time!
Amy recently posted..The Other Hardest Part
Thanks, Amy! Yes, it is so important how we feel about the person and how we make them feel versus the topic being discussed.
This are wonderful reminders, Susan. Trust is so essential to being oneself in a relationship and following your suggestions go such a long ways to building self and that trust.
Lisa Frederiksen – BreakingTheCycles.com recently posted..Face of Recovery – Meet Corey Avey
Thanks, Lisa! I agree trust is so essential!
What great tips. I really liked that you told us to really be interested in what our partner is talking about, don’t just pretend!
Thanks, Sally. Yes, that is so important. When we pay attention and really listen to what our partner has to say, it makes them feel that they are a priority instead of an option. That they truly matter.
Among those around me whose relationships have lasted a long time, one challenge I see is when the two people “grow” or evolve at different rates. Both people don’t have to evolve (or not evolve) at the same rate or in the same direction, but there has to be a healthy dialog about it … and bridges have to be built so the bonds stay solid.
Thanks, Sharon. I agree with you totally