Being All That You Want Your Partner To Be
© Susan Preston, http://flirtingwithfitness.com
All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Have you ever taken the time to really think and decide everything that you want your partner to be? What it is you really want? Need? Your absolute ‘MUST HAVES.’ Ask yourself, “Am I being all that I want my partner to be?” If you haven’t…take some time to do so now. What exactly are you looking for? What do you need and what are you willing to give? If you are looking for affection, honesty, compassion, support, etc.…ask yourself this, “Am I being affectionate, honest, compassionate and supportive?”
It is important to become your own ‘MUST HAVES.’ If you are looking to have that partner who is supportive, but you are not, then you need to make sure you want it enough to be that yourself. By being more supportive, your partner will appreciate the support.
Take some time to sit down with your partner and discuss your ‘MUST HAVES.’ Let them know you are willing to be more of those things in your ‘MUST HAVES’ as well as theirs, because you understand they need them as well. When was the last time, you jumped in to help your partner get something done, showing them support in what they are doing? Take some time to slow down with what you are doing to let them know and show them that they are significant part of your life and that you are there for them. By being even more supportive, they will start to model your behavior and as a result will most likely start to support you even more so.
Also, when you are sitting down with your partner going over your ‘MUST HAVES’ make sure you find out what theirs are. Be open and willing to listen to what theirs are. Find out if you are meeting those and if need be, ask them to coach you in an area that you might need help with. Perhaps, you can even help coach each other. Make it a team effort!
It’s not about becoming someone that you are not, but about becoming the best ‘YOU’ possible and bringing that into your relationship. If you are both working on becoming your own ‘MUST HAVES’ as well as each others, your relationship will become much richer and the rewards that come with that are priceless.
For those of you, who are looking to have a relationship, make sure that you get really clear on what you want. Write your ‘MUST HAVES’ down on a piece of paper. Go over them and work on being those things yourself. Get clear on your absolute ‘MUST HAVES’ and the qualities you want your potential partner to have or else you may end up in a relationship with someone like the person you might have just left.
By getting clear on what you do want, you will know early on in a relationship if there are any deal breakers. For example, if you want have to have a baby more then anything and your partner can’t or does not want to, you can decide early on if there is any room for compromise or other solutions before you take your relationship to that next Exciting level and the stars and rockets go shooting off. When you start to become more of your ‘Must Haves,’ you will most likely attract a potential partner with a lot of them, as like attracts like.
In order to have that balance in every area of your life, it is important you have connected with yourself as well as your partner and stay connected. When your relationships are thriving, you will find that the other areas in your life start to as well. Life is meant to be absolutely Extraordinary!
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Great post Susan for anyone in a relationship whether that is right at the beginning or long term because as the relationship progresses the ‘must haves’ can change. When my marriage hit a rough patch it was trust that needed to be re- established and of course that is requirement on both sides!
Thanks, Carolyn. Absolutely, I am glad that you both were able to re-establish that trust. It’s such a vital ‘Must Have’ in any relationship.
Excellent article, Susan. It’s so important to communicate and know up front about deal breakers Too often folks want to be in a realtionship so much that they ignore having important conversations about values and common interests. Thanks so much!
Lisa Birnesser recently posted..Best Natural Sleep Aids
I agree Lisa, it is so important to communicate and know up front about the deal breakers. When we are clear up front what we want, it is so much easy to obtain that, providing the other person wants the same things as well. Thank you
Another valuable article, Susan. Your tips on how to approach your partner with ‘must haves’ is wonderful. Love this: “In order to have that balance in every area of your life, it is important you have connected with yourself as well as your partner and stay connected. ” Thank you!
Alexandra McAllister recently posted..JavaFit Coffee – 100% Pure Gourmet Arabica
You are so welcome, Alexandra. I appreciate you taking the time to stop and comment. I think a lot of people get so caught up in life, that they not only don’t take the time to stay connected with themselves, but they are not staying connected with their partner. It’s very important. Thanks!
Thank you Susan for all the valuable information you always share.
My pleasure, Terressa. Thanks for stopping by
Great article, thank you.
maggie currie recently posted..My technically challenging two weeks
You are so welcome, Maggie. I appreciate you taking time to read my article and comment. Thanks. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon
This is a great post; we first need to sow before we reap. That is the beiggest law there is, before we realize this truth and put it into action, nothing will really work for us. Thanks!
I so agree with you, Olga. You are spot on, my friend. Thanks
This is a very good article with important information. Thank you Susan for writing it.
You’re so welcome, Carele. I hope that you are having a great week, so far. Thank you
I like how you mention that like attracts like, right now I am a workaholic that hardly sleeps so that can’t be a good thing when it comes to attractring a nice potential boyfriend.
Karla Campos recently posted..Facebook for WordPress Plugin Features
You are so right! It is important when wanting to attract a potential partner that we are attracting what we want. The great thing is that one can take the necessary steps to become more like the partner that they would like
Thanks!
Great post! I especially liked this line, “It’s not about becoming someone that you are not, but about becoming the best ‘YOU’ possible and bringing that into your relationship.” So true!!
Thank you, Lisa! A lot of times when a couple comes to me for relationship help, they are wanting to change each other, and it’s when we look inside of ourselves first and become the ‘Best’ that we can be, that we also help to bring out the best in our partner.
A successful marriage is a result of forgiving and compromising. You have so greatly expressed these concepts here.
Sherry Nouraini recently posted..What does it take for ROI purists to stop messing up social media? Here’s the answer
I so agree with what you wrote, “A successful marriage is a result of forgiving and compromising.” Thank you
It’s always about looking in the mirror? We can only attract what we really are, so we need to become what we really want. So simple, yet difficult to realize.
Martha Giffen recently posted..Article Marketing Is Still Alive And Well
Yes, you are so right…it is always about looking in the mirror, Martha! Thanks, for sharing your wisdom
Looks like a really good exercise to run through. I’ll have to add this to my list of things to do when I have a sec. Thanks
Maria Stefanopoulos recently posted..How much should I tip when traveling?
It really helps with getting the clarity of knowing what we want in our partner or potential partner. Thanks
Awesome, awesome post, Susan! Identifying your “must haves” is so powerful and you point out that you need to know in the beginning if there are any deal breakers…absolutely! Knowing what you are looking for and being all that you want a partner to be…powerful steps!
Sherie recently posted..7 Warning Signs That You Are Being Taken For Granted In Your Relationship
Absolutely my friend, I so agree, “Knowing what you are looking for and being all that you want a partner to be…powerful steps!” Thanks
Great article, and I’m going to really think about this as I drive around this week in my car. You’ve got my brain thinking and reflecting now.
Thanks, Jamie! It is amazing when we get clear of the ‘Must Haves’ that we want our partner or our potential partner to have and start to become them!
Great exercise for relationship fitness
We need to become what we want for sure!
Anita recently posted..Inspirational Sayings to Get You Through the Day
Thanks, Anita! I like that, “Great exercise for relationship fitness .”
Lot of good info in the article, and in your replies to comments!
Thanks, Sally. I appreciate you
Oh How I love this Susan! Love you and a great relationship will come your way ..;)
Liz recently posted..What Do Your Marketing Activities Say About You?
Thanks, Liz! I love you as well and I am very blessed to have an Amazing husband and friends like you
Susan, I suggest something similar for couples related to money in a “playbook” called “How and When to Talk to Your Partner About Money: without it leading to breakup, fights or divorce!” Much as people don’t want to deal with the topic in the exciting early stages of a serious relationship, it does bring out potential deal-breaker issues while there’s still time to back out … hurting the fewest people possible. Thanks for the guidelines!
Sharon O’Day recently posted..Finding Financial Independence in the New World
You are welcome. I love how you have a “playbook.” It is so important for people to know what the potential deal-breakers are before they take their relationship to that next serious level. Thanks for sharing your vast knowledge.
Great information as usual :). These are important things to discuss in any relationship!
Thanks, Mandy! I agree, they are very important.